Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Ever feel like chaos has moved in with you? The schedules, the drop offs, the bills, the birthdays, it's all flying around in your head and half the time you're just hoping the other person's got it covered. But here's the thing.
Chaos doesn't just make life stressful, it actually creates a wedge. Because when one of you is carrying the mental load and the other's trying to keep up, you stop feeling like teammates and start feeling like opponents.
Today we're talking about the one thing that might just do more for your relationship than date night.
Bringing in the use of the humble whiteboard. Because when everything's out in the open, the plans, the to dos, the mental load, it stops being my problem and your problem and it becomes our plan. We'll share how a shared whiteboard can help you stay organized, reduce resentment, and actually bring back that sense of ease and connection. So grab a coffee or a marker and let's talk about how a whiteboard so grab a coffee or, or a marker and let's talk about how a whiteboard might just save your marriage.
People were always telling us, you guys are such a team. And we began to realise this just isn't the case for most couples.
[00:01:16] Speaker B: But we knew from our own experience of turning our relationship into a team, that change isn't just possible, it's inevitable. All you need is a little direction.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: So that's what we do on this show. We steer you in the right direction. We keep it simple. We show you why relationship struggles show up and how you can start changing your relationship today.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: And we bring the good stuff by turning information from leading relationship experts and evidence based research into easy to understand skills and tools that anyone can use.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: We also share insights from our own 23 years of experience together. And we chat with some incredible couples who offer their wisdom on relationships.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: If a better relationship is what you want, then get comfy. Whatever tickles your pickle. As we prepare to dive into all things team.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: We're Kim and Rog and this is the Living the Team Life podcast.
So an exciting package arrived for us recently.
You didn't know I was going to start with that.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: I didn't know who to start with that. Am I your exciting package?
[00:02:18] Speaker A: Sure, you were one of them. And the other exciting package is enormous and it is very exciting.
It's a 2.2 meter by 1.2 meter whiteboard.
And for all the other women who have a little dirty habit of organization porn, you will appreciate how exciting that package truly is.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: Nothing wrong with a six inch Whiteboard, Kim, Nothing wrong.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: Don't distract from the joy I'm receiving thinking about organization.
So this whiteboard arrived and we've ordered it for a specific project we're working on that's personal, so not really relevant to this. But the, the point and the reason I'm sharing this with you is because it brought about, obviously many discussions between Rog and I about whiteboards. We have, we have a few whiteboards. They're very intentional and they've served an incredible purpose in our life and our relationship.
And I think the common old whiteboard isn't getting enough love for what she's capable of. And that's why I wanted to bring the whiteboard to the podcast today.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I think the, in the digital era, we sort of forget the tactile and the visible, which used to be a part of our classrooms at school growing up. And, you know, you know, i4 posters which we talk about, or i4 and we, you know, as we've said, often we'll go to a pub and you'll just be carrying in a massive.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: A three in a giant IKEA bag.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: With. Giant IKEA bag. And we go and sit in the pub and you know, have a partner feed and plan and dream and you've always been big on this. I was a bit late to the party. Was definitely someone who was like, you know, oh, if we write it down, it's like stressful to me almost, but I've changed my tune, you know, it was more proof in the pudding, I learned. And now I realize that putting all this stuff on the whiteboard actually de. Stresses me, which is completely, literally the opposite of what I felt like.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: So you were excited about the package too, is what you're saying?
[00:04:43] Speaker B: I was really excited about the package. It's big. Like it's, it's the biggest, it's the biggest whiteboard we've ever had. So. And we've got several.
And so that's really what we're talking about today, isn't it?
[00:04:56] Speaker A: We're talking about whiteboards, the glorious whiteboard, and more importantly, how the whiteboard can help your relationship 100%.
[00:05:04] Speaker B: Because in the end, I think what we find is that it's the often the everyday chaos that is driving a wedge between couples.
You know, one of the ideas we speak to often on living the team life is that disconnection in relationship is. Isn't usually triggered by just one big blow up. Instead, it happens over a long period of time through thousands of little moments that are, that are not shared that are not that cause, that cause disconnection to snowball. And it often happens without either partner really realizing it until it's too late. Because you're constantly juggling, you're constantly missing cues, the bids of connection we talk about.
And you've constantly got this little niggling sense of frustration that life's just too. Too busy and too messy and too chaotic to actually connect. And so you start to feel like roommates.
You might feel like you're not on the same page. And often you start to get that sense of we're not really seeing each other beyond the logistics of, of a busy life.
And we're very, I guess what the word is, we're reacting to life as opposed to taking control of it. And that can have a real impact on a relationship because when you're reacting and you're not being proactive, you don't find time for things actually matters. So you, you spend more time and more time on keeping the wheels turning than keeping the can your connection strong. You don't have time for the big conversations because you're too busy having the small conversations.
And the small conversations are very much about who's doing what. Why isn't this done as opposed to actually getting stuff done as a team?
[00:06:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I think what you said there that's really critical is that chaos can drive a wedge in a relationship. And I think just to let that idea sort of marinate for a moment that this is not a you or me issue.
This is, this isn't even a we issue. This is a life issue that happens to us because it's really, and I don't want to get off tangent, which is what I usually do, but it's really a product of the time we live in, which is a very busy. I was talking about this at lunch yesterday with some of the women in my family. We'd had a, we had a women's lunch and multi generational and we were talking, talking about young, younger generations and what life's like for them. Is it harder or easier? And in my opinion, it's very hard living in the world today because it is just so hectic. We are constantly trying to speed up, do more, fit more in, add more. And there's so much information coming at us all the time, which makes us feel like we need to do more. It's very, very hard to stay on top of the chaos, which by the chaos I mean the amount of stuff we're getting bombarded with, the amount of stuff we have to process on a Day, daily basis, the amount of stuff we have to plan and organize on a daily basis. And that chaos will drive a wedge in your relationship if you are not aware of it and you do not put strategies in place to manage it.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: Yeah, and as we said, it just happens over time, so. And we just think that's just. Oh, that's just how life is. But it doesn't have to be that way. And. And there's. There's other drivers of it as well, which are more personal, especially, you know, for women dealing with invisible load and things like that.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Well, I think what happens is when we are caught in the chaos, we don't have, like you said, Roger, we don't have space to see what's actually happening. And we are caught in the minutia, really. It is just about being stuck in the minutiae of life, down in the daily grind and hustle of the chaos. And that means if you're in the chaos, you are unable. I mean, if we think about it, kind of like you're in a blender.
[00:09:05] Speaker B: No, that's the wrong two blenders.
Your two blenders living side by side. You need to co blend.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: I think that's good on some level. I'm not sure what, but it's there.
[00:09:16] Speaker B: And then you get a really nice smooth smoothie. A couple smoothie, smoothie.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: No, what I'm trying to say is when you're in the minutia, if. If that's where you stay down in it, that's all you see is what's flooding around you, flapping around you, flying around you. It's like being in the tornado. And we want blender in the blender. Thank you.
We want to get outside of it. You want to get outside of it because when you're in it, it's. It is it. You become what you're in, which is the chaos. You become the chaos. And people will often say when you ask them, how are you? I'm just so busy.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Well, you can only see your chaos. And I think this is the big thing, is you can't see generally both of you in the household are in chaos. Some person might be holding more, but how would you know? Because you've got no visibility. So you're in the blender and you're.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Thank you for running.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: You're in the blender.
I'm driving this metaphor.
You're in the blender and life swirling around you. The chaos are swirling around you, and it's. You can't see that the chaos swirling around the other person.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Absolutely. I love, I love the way you've built on that. That's brilliant.
And, and one of the things that comes out of both of you being in the chaos, and exactly what you said, Reggie, which is that you're unable to see the other person's chaos, except to know that you're both in it together, is that the distribution of load can be really uneven. And this is a really big topic that's, you know, rightly so, getting a lot of attention in the last two, three years because it's finally been brought to the fore from a cultural and social perspective where people are actually able to articulate what it means and what, what the implications are, especially for women in a relationship, which is that that mental load is unfairly distributed because women have historically. I mean, I don't want to get on track. Women have historically taken on more of the household duties. Now women are taking on work as well. And as a result, they're doing work and household.
So if this all sounds familiar, don't feel that you're alone, guys.
The, the, the. The chaos of life is plaguing all of us. And the joy of today, the excitement about today is that there's a very simple tool that we've used to great effect for years now that can really. I mean, when I know the title, that we can save your relationship with a whiteboard sounds drastic, but I genuinely believe it's true.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Yeah. 100. And, you know, as. As we talked about at the top of the show, you know, Kim's are excited about her massive whiteboard. Although, you know, small whiteboards are just as good. It really depends on how you use them, you know, but that's because Kim, Kim and I are whiteboard experienced. Right.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: The metaphor stopped, right?
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we, we use them for everything, but we're just talking about maybe some of the basics here. So we're talking about getting whiteboard, using it together and planning out your term. So a lot of you, most of you, not all, but a lot of you will have kids and they're at school age. Right. That seems to be the demographic of our audience. And so we divide our, our whiteboard up one of our whiteboards up into terms like the 10 weeks of term and then over the long school holidays, which, you know, can be anywhere from six to eight weeks.
And we put it up so it's visible.
And this might seem basic or simple, and we'll talk through why it's important today, but, you know, the, the relationship gurus actually back up why having a whiteboard is important. And Dr. John Gottman talks about this. He says that often the strength of a relationship lies in how well partners manage the mundane.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: I think this quote is so brilliant, I think it's true of life anyway as an individual, but as a unit you're bringing two people's lives together at a minimum. And most of our listeners are bringing four or five people's lives together because you're responsible for your children as well. And that's a lot of mundane to handle. That's a lot of detail to get your head around.
And when he says that the strength of a relationship lies in how well partners manage the mundane, what he's saying is the mundane can break you. Yeah, the mundane can actually be the reason. And that's why we use the word save in the title here, because it can save your relationship. To get on top of the mundane, there are so many benefits and we're going to run through them, I know, in a bit, but there are so many benefits to getting on top of the mundane and not. And, and I think for me the key in this is you. If you don't get on top of the mundane, you can't live a great relationship. You are stuck on the starting block back at the beginning part of relationships.
If you want to have more out of your relationship, if you want to have a bigger life, if you want to live a more joyful life, a more intentional life, if you are not on top of the mundane, you can't do that because the mundane will consume you. It is so pervasive, the amount of stuff we have, it touches every part of our life. We are constantly being bombarded by things to do, clubs. I mean think about kids, sporting activities. They take up people's entire weekends. And then on top of that, parents have to organize uniforms and snacks and catch ups and all that sort of stuff on top of it. So how do you get to the other stuff if you're just playing catch up with all of that stuff all the time and there's two of you doing that, two adults for multiple small humans as well as themselves and then you trying to fit in the bigger stuff.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: Yeah, so you're talking about like the capacity of the individual and the couple as well. So we're trying to acknowledge the fact that everyone has a limit to their capacity. And if you're spending all of your capacity on just the basic mundane life admin, you don't have capacity to do the stuff like connect, to do the stuff like fun adventures, to do the stuff like I guess a hobby or some stuff, stuff that lights you up. And so not only, so not only does your relationship turn into admin, because that's all you've got capacity for. Your life turns into logistics and admin, and that's just not that.
[00:15:56] Speaker A: Do you know what the great point on that, Reggie, I just want to make is I hear from multiple women that, you know, one of the big issues is intimacy. As we get older, men want more sex, women want less. Women are exhausted. Right. They're also getting touched by human, tiny humans all the time.
And the, the pain point for this is specifically felt at the end of the day when men go to bed and they're like, oh, yeah, I wouldn't mind a bit. And women are like, I am exhausted. All I've done is chase my tail all day long. Looking after rugrats, holding all this mental load. Do not touch me. I just want to go to sleep.
That is because you're stuck in that minutia. You're holding the mental load. Both of you are holding the mental load. Now men are able to come out of that because they're so driven from a sex perspective or a sexual perspective, but women are not able to come out of that, of that space. So for men and women listening who want more intimacy, this is something that can really help to give you a bit more capacity in that space as well. Because how do you get out of the mundane and into the other things like intimacy if it's all consuming for you, if it's all the time all around you and you haven't got a system around it?
[00:17:16] Speaker B: Yeah. So we have five ways that a whiteboard can save your relationship.
Now.
Straight to the top. Now is our new one.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: The sexy time.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: If you want, if you want more sex, buy a whiteboard. I think that's.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Is that what we should have called the show?
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Well, I think we don't. What. What's with the other five reasons this should have been a ten minute episode. Like you're dropping gold on me, like right beforehand.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: We hadn't actually discussed that one at all.
[00:17:47] Speaker B: No, we hadn't. And so, so. And that's today's episode. If you want to send this to your man or send this to your to. To your woman. So yeah. So really, you know, you need capacity. So I'll say this once, I say it a million times.
Emotional intimacies. Four place foreplay. And for emotional intimacy, you need capacity to capacity for each other. And if you are spending all that time on life admin you're not spending it on connection.
So that's what we're, we're trying to, I guess, you know, get through to you today that we're trying to convince you and your partner to buy a whiteboard. And if having more sexy time isn't enough of a impetus to stick it up and draw, draw. So wait, hey, get your mind out of the gutter, babe. To, to. To hang up a whiteboard and put a calendar on it that you can both work through together. That's visible. Then I don't know what is, but we're going to give you five reasons. And we get that some of you are tech lovers out there, so you might already use a shared online calendar and that's fine if it's working for you. But, you know, Kim's a very visual person. She talks about it all the time. So seeing a big, clear calendar not only declutters us, it declutters her mind.
While may I spend way too much time on my phone and, you know, I think the white ball field's more real for me. It's just like reading a book as opposed to reading a Kindle.
And yes, some of you might be. Well, jeez, like. So you want me to stick a big, ugly whiteboard up in the middle of the kitchen? Well, ours is up in our home.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: Office, but you can stick it in the kitchen and it doesn't have to be a big ugly whiteboard. You can get a piece of Perspex. Yeah, and stick it up and use whiteboard markers on it. Or a piece of glass. You can get custom glass ones, mate. I mean, it depends how fancy you want to go, but it doesn't have to be the old school whiteboard.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: Yeah, and look, you know James Clear, Atomic Harro, the guru, he says what doesn't get written down doesn't get done. What gets written down gets done. In a relationship that shared visibility around goals really helps. But really we're just again, talking about the mundane, the task, the life admin that'll help you clear the clutter and chaos in your relationship and have more time for the good stuff.
So here's our five reasons. And again, number one was more sexy time.
[00:20:15] Speaker A: So six reasons.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: Yeah, but. So six ways, but. So starting with number one is a whiteboard turns invisible chaos into visible teamwork.
When you don't have a shared system, the small things will often slip through the cracks.
The school form that didn't get signed, the bill that got missed, the pickup that didn't happen, the double weekend booked and what happens, you start reacting and you start blaming and that blame again because you're. You're in that blender and you're only seeing your own blended items. Your own chaos leads to tension and frustration and fights.
What a whiteboard does is that it really just makes. It gets everything out in the open.
It's no longer about who forgot what. It's about what's in front of us.
So you can actually see when you've got a whiteboard up, which you can refer to again and again and again, the moving parts of everyone's week.
And so all of a sudden, you aren't fighting about the little thing that got missed because it's been clear from the start of term that it's up on there. And yes, it's live and it moves, but you're just not fighting about it.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: Do you know what it is, though? Roger? Can I. Yeah, yeah. Put something on this.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: It's two of us on the podcast.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: What happens when you put it up there? It's not just that it's allocated because things need to pivot and move. That happens. That can cause some friction as well. What happens is you realize you're a team owning that board together. So getting out of. And the whole point of this podcast is to teach people to get out of individual mindset. That's mine, that's yours. That's mine, that's yours. Yes. You allocate tasks because that's how we take responsibility and we share things, divide things in an. In an equitable way.
What happens you is you then believe that you own everything together, and that's what happened for us. So if there's a problem or in terms of scheduling or something requires you to pivot, it's now a we problem. Even if it's my task, we look at the board together and we go, how are we going to manage that?
[00:22:15] Speaker B: Because it belongs to the board.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Separate schedules. We've got this. My schedule. This is your schedule. This is our. This is the family schedule.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: It belongs to the team.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: So you move from you and me to. To us.
[00:22:25] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: Which is the definition of a team.
[00:22:27] Speaker A: Right, Exactly.
[00:22:28] Speaker B: So what we're saying is get. Get that whiteboard up, and you use it for the basis of.
Basis of how the household is run at the start of each.
At the start of each term, and that.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: So it's a calendar.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: It is literally just a calendar. Visible calendar.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: That's the first way we would suggest people use a whiteboard. And the most effective for couples and especially for families.
[00:22:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: And yeah, and, and the next point, obviously we've talked about it already, is when you have it up there, it reduces mental load. And there's multiple ways it reduces mental load. Because the reality is in, in most relationships, one person becomes the bigger keeper of, of information. That's they remember the birthdays, they remember the, the family get togethers that need to happen, the appointments that need to be scheduled, the cards that need to be written like they, the school stuff that needs to be bought. All of it. And when you put the whiteboard up, firstly, you have to notice what's getting allocated right at the front end. You have to both, you both. Oh, okay, we, we both see what's being allocated, but also it reduces the mental load for the person who's been carrying it because it's visible. Everything is now visible. Okay. I now see what needs to be done.
So on that more just functional level, like for me, I, when I put it up on the board, I no longer have to carry it in my brain because I just go to the board if I'm worried, if I need to know something, I just go to.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: The board and I can see, oh, geez, Kim's got a lot on that week. You know, maybe I need to step up.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Exactly. It becomes, it becomes an instigator for better conversation around what's actually happening and a validator for what's, what is actually happening. So if it works for you to write up there all the detail of that, you know, like if you've got, for example, a sporting activity and then what is a precursor to that might be that you have to do the schedule for the team or whatever, then write that on as well. You know, whatever you need to get up there that makes you feel like you're bringing down the chaos and you're making the efforts more visible.
That's what needs to go on the whiteboard. You will work out what system works for you. We have higher level categories on the whiteboard these days, but we also use color coding. We have different ways of seeing what's happening on the whiteboard.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And what you often find is that if you don't have this common, like, you know, whiteboard to look at, you know, someone, you know, your partner will come to you and go, oh, can you do this? Or can you do that? And you're like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you understand how busy my life is?
[00:25:17] Speaker A: And instead you can say, let's go to the whiteboard and have a look.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Yeah, that, that, that, right. And, and it's clear. So it's like there's less tit for tat, less keeping score, more. Here's our Jo again, coming back to that. This is our joined responsibility.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: Exactly. And with the mental load, use it as a basis for conversation, to redistribute tasks, but also to let go of what's flying around in your head and put it somewhere else so you don't have to carry it all the time.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: Exactly. And again, this is. So we'll go to. Our third reason is how many times have you felt with your partner? So we're just not on the same page. And it goes from the mundane to the. To the big picture. But again, we're just talking about the mundane today because having a whiteboard keeps you on the same page because it's, it's a visible reminder of this is where we're at. Because when life get.
Life gets busy. Couples drift into what the guru Harville Hendricks calls parallel, parallel living. So it ships in the night roommates. You're living side by side, but not truly connected. One's focused on work, the other, home life, for example. And as a result, again, it leads to friction. And what a whiteboard does is it becomes your alignment hub.
So it becomes that simple visual check on what your priorities are, what's happening and what's happening for the other person.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Well, I think when you talk about. Because your point here was the same page, right. When we talk about being on the same page and it leads into our next point, it's really about feeling understood and seen.
Like we get each other and we get where we're going together.
And I think when you. You start those habits and you do those things together, you really do start to feel like we're in this together. We've got this together, we're on the same page in life. And that's something that a lot of couples really yearn for.
They want to be on the same page. Because that sense of safety you get from being on the same page, which is I'm understood and you're understood, is what we all crave. That's just a basic human biological need.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Well, you feel sane, and that's the point. You're supposed to bring both of your calendars, both of your schedules to the common schedule, and then you've got the family stuff as well. And then it becomes the joint schedule. So there is alignment. And that's what. Alignment and feeling seen and being on the page just supports that safety of wearing this together.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: We're in this together. Yeah. Which really leads to our next point, which is that doing the task of filling out the whiteboard actually builds a sense of collaboration and you connect through collaboration. And we've talked about for men as well, Roger, you've brought to the podcast quite a lot that they actually get a hit of vasopressin, which is a chemical that is a bonding chemical for particularly for men. Women get it as well, but not in the same doses. And men get that from doing tasks with their partner.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: So planning and then. And then achieving tasks.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: And this is a task. You need to go and put your stuff on the whiteboard. And then when you have a less chaotic week and you feel more on top of it, you feel like you've achieved, and I'm dead honest, that is what the outcome is. That's how it feels for us once we write that whiteboard up and then we start pummeling into the term. And I see the effect of having the whiteboard and as in the positive light that it is because I feel more on top of it. And we use the whiteboard constantly. We constantly go back to the whiteboard whenever anything comes up or we need to pivot together or maneuver together. And that's that collaboration together we solve. You know what I said at the beginning? We solve the problem of an issue for either one of us together, because we're now a team collaborating on this. And that's one of the joys. So use the whiteboard and in a. In times of.
Of challenge, of. Of. Of issues coming up, problems with logistics, whatever it is, and collaborate, work as a team. Use this team space to solve the issue together, and you will connect more through it.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's a great. You know, this is a bonding opportunity. And so you actually go from fighting to surviving to thriving when you get a whiteboard. So you're actually making a huge leap, huge gains here. Because all of a sudden, instead of fighting about issues and just getting back to square one, you're actually starting to slowly bond together through those chemicals of actually achieving planning and achieving stuff together. So that. That's what that we mean through connection, through collaboration. So the last of our five reasons of how whiteboard can save your relationship is it helps you see what's missing.
And of course, often that means time for each other, more moments of connection.
Because, look, we know you mean well.
We know you often talk about the date nights, the plans, time together, downtime, reconnecting. But if it doesn't get planned, it doesn't happen.
When you see, when you see your Lives up on the whiteboard and through all the chaos. And if you're listening to this podcast, you will see that, hey, do you know we're taking care of everything up here except for ourselves.
There's time for the kids, there's time for our families, there's time for our friends, there's time for the dentists, the life admins, the bills, the mortgage, this that, the other that. We're on top of it now, but what about us? And so this having, having your calendar up, there is a gentle reality check that you need to schedule in time for you. You need to be proactive to do it. And a whiteboard is a constant reminder, especially if you've got a habit and a ritual or of frequently going to it is like, hey, where's our time for us? Because often it's the first thing that gets missed in a busy schedule is that quality time, that time to connect that is so important, which is the core of your core of your relationship is such.
[00:31:12] Speaker A: This is one of. Probably my favorite point from today.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: I know my favorite.
[00:31:20] Speaker A: It is such a beautiful and simple tool that can have such a big impact on your relationship. And to plan and have a visible reminder that you and your partner matter, that your relationship matters, that it is a priority in your life is. Is so important for couples and to, to be able to change your behavior, what you want to do, what we all want to do, right? When we, when we say we want more of something is we're saying we want to make a behavior change. I want more of my partner and I want more quality time together. Okay, you're going to have to change the behavior you currently place. To change a behavior. You need to start a new habit. That's not easy. But if you have a whiteboard, it will start the change of behavior for you. You write that date up, you check where your space is or what's missing. You write it in as a ritual so repeated.
And that will kick you off because you will get so used to using that whiteboard that you will follow it. You will become a patron of the whiteboard and you will follow it and you will follow it for all of the commitments you have, including spending time on your relationship.
And it's such a. It's such a great tool for that. Because to make behavior change, to spend time on your relationship actually isn't easy. But you can use the whiteboard to be the instigator of the behavior change. And I just love that.
[00:32:51] Speaker B: You're amazing. You've just spent quality time on your relationship.
[00:32:55] Speaker A: Feel like you're on a roll? If you want more Living the Team Life relationship insights and conversations, head over to kimandroj.com where you can find all the show notes as well as tons of other relationship goodies.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: And if you like today's episode, please hit subscribe or let another couple know where they can find us. It'll make them happy, and it'll make us really happy.
[00:33:13] Speaker A: Until next time, keep on living the team life.
