Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: We all have low energy days or even low energy seasons. And one of the biggest mistakes couples can make, expecting both partners to be fit and firing on all cylinders all of the time.
The reality is that's just not how life works. Sometimes your partner may be flat, overwhelmed or running on empty. And in those moments, they don't need fixing, they need support, they need encouragement, a bit of belief. They need their hype guy. In today's episode, we're looking at how to spot when your partner needs lifting and how to step in with the right kind of energy. We'll share what research says about support within a relationship and why the little things like admiration, presence and gentle check ins matter most when your partner is feeling low. Let's dive in.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: People were always telling us, you guys are such a team. And we began to realise this just isn't the case for most couples.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: But we knew from our own experience of turning our relationship into a team that change isn't just possible, it's inevitable. All you need is a little direction.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: So that's what we do on this show. We steer you in the right direction. We keep it simple. We show you why relationship struggles show up and how you can start changing your relationship today.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: And we bring the good stuff by turning information from leading relationship experts and evidence based research into easy to understand skills and tools that anyone can use.
[00:01:25] Speaker B: We also share insights from our own 23 years of experience together. And we chat with some incredible couples who offer their wisdom on relationships.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: If a better relationship is what you want, then get comfy. Whatever tickles your pickle. As we prepare to dive into all things team.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: We're Kim and Rog and this is the Living the Team Life podcast.
We are talking today about the idea of being your partner's hype guy when their energy is low. And I think that last bit is really important. It's not today about hyping someone up in general life. Just like, you know, I get a bit pumped on life sometimes. I also get a bit low on life sometimes. But when I'm, you know, like, let's get on board with this great idea I had five minutes ago and change our life entirely. That's just like general hype. This is about hyping your partner when they're, when they're not feeling so great and probably coming to them with a thousand ideas isn't actually the best way to help them.
So the reason this has come about is, as you guys know, we've been unwell. We've been so unwell. Like the rest of Perth. I'm not sure how the rest of the country is handling things, but we've just had so much illness. People with pneumonia, kids with pneumonia, not our kid, but we know people with kids with pneumonia. It's. It's just been a really rough winter and we have also caught all the ailments and we're just coming out of the back of it. But being sick often causes people's mood to change. It's hard for people, it's frustrating. It's.
I think the thing that people maybe don't talk about enough is its momentum losing. Like you lose your momentum in life and all of a sudden you come to a standstill. And I think what people forget is it's not just about getting back up and going. You actually have to start from stationary when you've lost your momentum, and that's a lot harder, especially on the back of having been unwell, you've got less energy, you are often still recovering in your. In your system. So you may be not feeling a hundred percent in your gut, in your brain, and you're trying to actually get off the starting block again, not just pick back up where you were.
And in amongst all this, this is what brings us, I guess, to today, was you, Roggie, have been particularly struggling because you've been so sick. I don't know how much you want people to know about your conditions, just.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: That I've had more than that. I'm generally pretty healthy. And then all of a sudden I got hit with three, like three things all at the same time, and it's just not knocked me for six. And they're taking a while to get over. And as a result, my energy's been quite low and you could subjectively say that I've been a bit of a grumpy bastard. So.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: I mean, you said it.
I've also said it out loud.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Was it spades A spade?
[00:04:43] Speaker B: Well, to be fair, I actually don't call a spade a spade until it gets to the point where the spade is banging you over the head with its spadiness.
So, yes, you have. You've been struggling and as a result, the. Our relationship has felt heavier and harder because you haven't really wanted to converse and you haven't really wanted to engage and. And you've been down, which is very unlike you.
And so I have had to really try to adjust to support you in that space.
And I just want to be clear, you being down has not made you a grumpy bastard.
You were a grumpy bastard because you've been short.
It's a different thing.
And.
And we're not getting into today. Today is not about being short. It's actually about the. The lower mood that you had, and they are intertwined. But you don't get a free pass on being a dick when you're feeling down. So I just say we're not dealing with that today. But you don't get a free pass.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: I. I've. Look, I think, in all honesty, I don't think I've ever got a free pass when I'm a dick. But there's more. The. The correlation to me being unwell and grumpy and me being a dick is fairly high.
[00:06:16] Speaker B: The dicker made it goes right up the graph.
[00:06:19] Speaker A: Graph goes up.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Graph goes up. Yeah. So anyway, that's what we've been working with, is your.
Your. Your sense of feeling a little bit more down. And I have been trying to support you. I've been trying to support you in little ways, lots of little ways, to try and be your teammate and be your buddy and carry a little bit of that for you. And so we thought we'd come to the podcast. It was actually your idea to come today and talk to everybody about that situation when your partner is a little bit low and a little bit down. And again, just putting that little caveat in, we're not excusing bad behavior as a result, but we're certainly saying people can have low days, they can have down times, they can have down weeks that do require more support. And. And as hard as that feels, when your partner is down and you have to step up for them, that's part of the role. It's part of being a team. And so, because I guess you felt like I've been stepping in and trying to support you, you wanted to talk about today how. How that's done in a relationship and what support looks like when your partner's feeling down and how you can be their hype guide, which we really mean is their. Their.
Their teammate. Their great teammate.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Their supporter in chief, their champion. Encourage a cheerleader. Their teammate.
[00:07:39] Speaker B: I like that. Their cheerleader. Yeah.
[00:07:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And so, you know, we talk about. We always talk about different seasons in life, and I think a way to look at it is that there are ebbs and flows in any relationship. And because you've got two people together and, you know, when things are great and you're in sync, life can feel easy.
But, you know, if one of you or both of you are not feeling it, feeling it.
You can go through those ups and downs, and it is cyclical, and you generally do find a rhythm as a couple. Like, you're more of an up and down sort of person.
I'm more of a level sort of person.
And so I think definitely when I've been a bit more.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: Neither better than the other, neither better.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: Than the other, it's just our personalities.
And so when I am a bit. A bit more down, and this has been the sort of catalyst, has been my health, it's, you know, it disrupts the way. I guess it disrupts the rhythm of our relationship as well.
And I think that's. That's also been tough because we. We slip into new roles and.
And, you know, just because usually I do. Like, it's not like I'm, like, contrary to popular belief, I'm not amazing all the time. I do slip into, you know, grumpy days, but generally bounce back pretty quickly. And I get. Recently I haven't had that bounce back while my health issues have sort of continued. And look, I'll be fine.
I'm a big boy. Like, I'm gonna be okay. I just. We're just gonna get through it, right? So.
And I think what happens is one of the biggest mistakes couples can make is that you. There's an expectation on each other and yourselves to be able to go at full speed and be at full capacity all the time, because life doesn't slow down for you. And so it's like, the only way we can deal with this is by. Is by going full speed ahead.
But the truth is, life doesn't work like that because some. Some weeks you have energy, motivation, drive.
You lift when things are tough. And other weeks, you're really just. Really just dragging yourself through. You're. You're surviving, and sometimes just.
And look, again, if you both crash at the same time, this can be really hard. But what you'll find generally is even if both of you are struggling, there'll be one who might be struggling more. And sometimes that can give that person who's not struggling as much the lift to go. Okay, I get my role. It's like when your kid gets sick, right?
So our daughter was sick last week, and even though I was feeling terrible, I lifted a bit because I was like, well, actually, there's something more important here than me. And, And. And it gave me the. You know, when she's vomiting everywhere, I'm not sitting there going, oh, I feel so terrible. What's this? All I can. All we can Think about is, oh my God, I hope she's okay. Let's work through this.
But, you know, the truth is that you are in a relationship. You, There are two people, your home is an ecosystem.
And when one person's down, this is when. This is when a team's really at its best and at its most important. And Terry Real, he calls this.
Hey. Well, he believes that there's no such thing as individual happiness in a relationship. And of course this is. But really what he's saying is if one partner's struggling, you can't just step back and go, well, that's your problem.
That's nothing to do with me.
What, what the truth is, you've actually got to lift.
And, and I think this is where the idea of the hype guy came because the hype guys are like, you know, the rappers and like Kim and I love our 90s and 2000s rap. So when 50 cents up on stage, he's got a heap of rappers in the background who are not really well known with carrying hankies, waving them in the air and saying every like, fourth word. And that, that's that their role isn't to make this guy the star attraction, but it's be there to sort of hype him up, hype the crowd up, get, get the mood in the room lifted.
And I think that's what we're talking about when we say where someone's a supporter, your hype guy, your encourager, your cheerleader, it's really about, you know, you're not there to make them happy. You're there to support them when it's tough and, and try help them, encourage them back along to that place of happiness.
And the research actually backs this up in a functioning, secure, strong relationship.
Guy Bondeman has a study called, has studied what's called dyadic coping, which is actually about how couples deal with stress together. And he found that when one couple steps in with support and the others deplete, it actually acts like a buffer.
There's almost like. There's almost like there is. There's two of you dealing with the one stress as opposed to one of you dealing with the one stress.
And so as a result with that buffer, the stress doesn't take the same toll on the person or the relationship as it would if it was just one person carrying the load themselves. Because you've got two people carrying that same load because often that's when you need your hype guy, when the loads too heavy to carry and you feel down.
And so here's the insight, your energy is going to ebb and flow, and it's not about 100% of you showing up 100% of the time.
It's about showing out when it matters, and that's covering for the other person when they're low.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: I mean, I just always think back, you know, we talk, obviously. This podcast is called Living the Team Life. And we, from the very beginning, have been very clear that our core philosophy behind this work that we do is to teach people that becoming a team is the answer, not, I've got to put myself first and I've got to live my best life or be my best person, and then I can come together, and I can't love anyone else till I love myself. We just don't agree with that. And the relationship science doesn't agree with that either. It all comes back to being a team. And if we think about the teams that are prolific in the world that we know about, that are easy to. To draw an analogy from, we think about a sports team.
Not everyone is firing in every game. Even the superstars have bad games. And people say, I had it off game today. It was off. You know, something wasn't right. But you don't turn around as a fellow player and say, oi, you need a lift this week. You play just a little bit harder to support them. You. You dive in where they need you. Do you know what I mean? If you stood there just berating them to get up and get going, you would know it would have no effect.
There is no way for someone to lift under punishment. That's just not how we're wired. People lift under encouragement. They lift from support.
So even when someone's having a bad game, if the momentum of the game is good enough, if his teammates are showing him the support, you'll often see people's game just pick up. It might not be a lot, but it might pick up a little, because off the back of what's happening around them, they do feel that camaraderie and that surge of support, and maybe they're able to go above a little bit from where they are, just lift a little.
[00:14:58] Speaker A: That's.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: That.
[00:14:58] Speaker A: That's literally the sort of almost definition. It's the core strength of a team, is that it's the strength of the team, not the strength of the individual.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Because it doesn't work that way. No, like, I mean, that's. That's why it's such a beautiful analogy looking at a sports team. It doesn't work if you, If. If it's If a team in a sports team was just a group of individuals doing their own thing, the team would never succeed. And we've seen that in great teams before when they've brought together really great individuals and the teams failed because they haven't become a team. The great strength comes in. I mean, you talk about exponential power. That's where it comes from. It's not just the sum of the parts. It's more than that.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: Oh. You see it in sports all over the world. The best lists or like, say, the. The team with the best, like, group of players often isn't the team that wins the Premiership. It's the team with the. I guess the list that can. That can pull together the most.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: Yeah, the best culture. Right. What they create as a group.
[00:15:56] Speaker A: So it's a superstar team, not a team full of superstars.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: Oh, that's good. I like that. So I know I've digressed off into that a bit, but that's so critical to me in all of this is the team element. And that's what the whole point of this is, is when you're in a team, and I'm talking now to the person who has to be the hype guy, because it is hard. We're all at capacity all the time. So when your port partner drops because they're not. They're not able to lift, they've gone over the edge, remember, they've gone over. They're in overwhelm. And whilst you're also at capacity, you're not where they are. And so it is your responsibility as a teammate to support them to come back so that there is more shared space in the relationship and you're not doing all the lifting. But sometimes we have to lift a little more, even when we haven't got the space for it, because it helps things to be restored faster. Because it helps our teammate, who we love and who we want to feel better. That's why we have to.
[00:16:55] Speaker A: It's for the greater good. It's for the best thing for the family, the best thing for your partner. And I get it when you're sitting there going like, I'm sick too. I'm struggling too.
And it can be hard. And sometimes there needs to be some acknowledgement there. It's also a bit of a. But I even. I've got 1% more capacity. That's still more. And I can give you 0.5.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: But that's true. It's still more. And I think that's where people have to. Like, sometimes it's hard to Let go of the righteousness of like, I deserve acknowledgement too. Of course you deserve acknowledgement, but that person's further down than you are right now and they need you to just share the little bit extra that you've got.
[00:17:33] Speaker A: And often the best way to be seen yourself is to see someone else.
You know, to, to receive generosity is to give is to first give generosity. And, and it's tough, but it's all, you know, it's being the change you want to see in the world. It's taking the first step, is taking the initial and it's doing it for.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: The ecosystem we talk about as well, Roggie. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like the infinite loop. One gives to the other and the other gives back to the, to the original. Like it just goes around in that, that self fulfilling loop of, of feedback in the relationship. I gave to you, you give to me. I give to you, you give to me. And it just is that nice little yin and yang of, of two people.
[00:18:17] Speaker A: Kuda matata. It's the vibe. It's mabo.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: All right, moving on. Anyway, Anyway. Okay, so here's the thing with all of this. What we're talking about when it comes back to the skill of being your hype guy, you. There's a few critical elements to mastering this skill, and that's what we're here for today, is to help people to grow this skill. And the, one of the critical elements is, is the idea of attunement.
Attunement is, is all about being aware of what's happening for your partner. You think about, you're attuning yourself to them. That's exactly what it is. You're listening in or watching out for cues about what is happening for them.
[00:19:07] Speaker A: It's like proactive empathy.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: Let me process that for a second.
[00:19:12] Speaker A: It's like an empathy sensor.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: Well, no, it's good.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: I went off, I went off script.
[00:19:23] Speaker B: It's before then. Because the point is attunement is about the noticing. And I think that's why it's a critical nuance because you can't, you can't have your empathy sensor go off if you're not noticing what's.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: Yeah, you gotta have your little beep.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. But you gotta be. No, you've gotta have the camera on. You've gotta have actually watch what's happening for the sensor to go on. And that's what I'm saying. It's the noticing bits turning the camera on. So becoming attuned to your environment. So looking out for what's happening that will tell you that something's off. You can't just have empathy if you're not looking for what could be something that required empathy. And that's, and that's a big part of relationships is starting to be. You know, we talk about being curious. Be a curious observer of what's happening for your partner.
[00:20:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it might even be easier than listening especially for guys. So guys out there were often telling you be cured. Ask, be curious, ask questions.
Maybe first just notice, notice things about your wife. Not just a. But like actually notice. Notice things she does. And then over time you understand it's like hey, she's done that differently or you know, and look generally if Kim's something's wrong, it's a smack of a teacup on the thing. It's like it's. You wear your heart in your slave. It's a bit easier. But not all, but not always.
[00:20:41] Speaker B: Smash my beautiful teacups down on the bench.
[00:20:44] Speaker A: Depends, depends.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: I might stomp my little feet occasionally.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: But, but you're right, it's. You're right, sweetie. It, being attuned is actually really important.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: It's right back at the beginning. It's just opening your eyes and it's saying is my partner quieter than usual? Are they sounding a bit sharp in their tone? Do they have this heavy look on their face in this? Are they carrying an energy? It's, it's noticing the little moments where your partner is actually communicating to you without using words. I need you, I need you to notice me and help me. And Stan Tatkin talks about this and he says partners are basically two nervous systems regulating each other. Which is correct. We, we co regulate that means we feed off each other's level of regulation. And so the beauty of that is we have the opportunity to support the other person's regulation. It's such a beautiful idea. And, and that's why you can feel calm when your partner does something like squeeze your hand and that's that co regulating like I'm regulated, I'm going to pass some of my regulation onto you. I'm going to give you a little squeeze and that partner says, oh, I'm safe, I'm loved. Okay, I can, I can handle this. I'm going to get through it. And, and vice, you know, vice versa. If your partner is dysregulated, that can obviously have the same knock on effect to you. At which point you Bring your awareness and you're noticing and you say, ah, I feel their dysregulation. It is dysregulating to me, but I've got a bit more capacity, so I'm going to see what I can do to actually help regulate them.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And that. That achievements also needs to be depersonalized a bit. Are they. Oh, they're doing this and they're having a go at me? No, no, no, no. Actually, it's not about you. They're carrying the stress and it impacts you, but it's not about you.
[00:22:34] Speaker B: Exactly.
Yeah. Actually, Sue Johnson says this sort of responsiveness that we're talking about between the partners is. Is the foundation of what we call secure attachment. So that's when partners know they actually have a knowing because they've experienced it over and over again, that they. That they will be seen and understood. And that's where that relationship we've talked about before, that beautiful idea of your relationship, becomes your safe harbor. It's a place where you can land when the outside world is tough and where you can lean in.
[00:23:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Safe harbor is where you can be yourself. And that includes being a grumpy bastard.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: Exactly.
So the insight here is hype starts with attunement, and that is literally just noticing. And I love what you said, Rog. Maybe being a curious observer is actually easier for some people.
So Esther Perel adds something really human to this idea. And I love this quote that she has. I wanted to bring this to the table today when we talked about this topic.
We thrive when someone delights in us, especially when we don't feel delightful. What do you think about that, Roggie?
[00:23:48] Speaker A: I think this is really important and this is actually a big part of sort of the, I guess the solution or the steps we're about to go through about how you can support your partner, be the hype guy, be their cheerleader when they're feeling low, when they're in a low season.
Because again, it's not about making them happy. It's about finding ways to support them and to see their shine and see their spark when they might not be able to see it.
So, you know, what Kim's done over the last week is sort of tell me I'm a good dad, talked about how sexy I am, what a great rig I've got.
You know, it's all right if she lies. It's okay if you can do that.
You know, she's, she's. She's, I guess, sort of littered little compliments my way, throwing the things. And even though I've been like, no, babe, I feel. Don't tell me that I'm. I'm disgusting.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: Such a prima donna with it.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: It's.
You know, it. It sort of. It just. It's just that little. It's like little. Little clouds of love, like, sort of lifting you up. Lifting you up. And that's what we're really gonna, I guess, talk about now, because it's. It's. It's easy to celebrate someone when things are going well.
It's not as easy to celebrate someone and to lift them up when they're down, because there's. You got that things are heavy. As we said, there's an ecosystem. Everyone can feel that heaviness. The kids, you. They. And they know that. They know they're feeling heavy and they can't get out of it. This is the other thing. Like, I know I've been a grumpy. A grumpy guy, and I. And I just. I've just been trying to pull myself.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: Out of it, and I have seen.
And I'm. It's really sweet. You actually haven't told me you've noticed those things, so hearing it here is really sweet because I have seen your little face just a little bit lighter when I say those things, even though. Oh, God, no, it's not me looking beautiful, but you do just have, like, a little bit of a lightness come onto your face. You know, when I tell you the things that are truthful, the things I'm just literally saying, the little things that I often don't bother saying.
[00:25:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:58] Speaker B: Which I should bother more.
But that's all I'm doing, just noticing and thinking. Okay, just say it out loud.
Say it out loud. You like something. You say. Tell him. Tell him you like it.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: And this is sort of core of what we're saying about how to be your partner's hype guy again. It's not just. It's not being their doormat. It's not.
It's. It's not like you're not the one who owns making them happy, but you can play a really big part to get them back on their feet and give them that little nudge of momentum. We talked about momentum earlier. Momentum starts when you're already going.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: And so sometimes it's that start, that. That first step, that start. That's really hard. And when you've got someone hyping you up, supporting you, it's that much easier to get going.
[00:26:43] Speaker B: All right, let's give some. Some clues today around how you can get started in this space. And the first tip we would give is what we've spoken about at length. So I won't go into it again too much. But it's remembering that be attuned, that's the very starting point because that's the noticing. If, if you wanna be there for your partner, you actually have to notice when you need to be there for them. So you have to catch the cues, pay attention to the small stuff, their tone, their energy, the way they come through the door. If you sense something's off, you can check it, you can attune yourself further. Have I got this right or am I just misreading something? It might sound like you seem a bit flat tonight. Want me to grab dinner for us or. Oh, you've been quiet since your meeting. Did you wanna talk about it or do you just wanna switch off and just really gentle invitations to attune yourself a little further to where they're at, you know, offering choices that are gentle choices, easy choices that, you know, don't feel like another pressure, especially if they're struggling. And the research here is clear. Noticing and responding to these little bids is one of the strongest predictors of long term connection. And when we say bids, we say when we noticed a tiny change in our partner that is communicating to us something is different.
Respond to it.
[00:28:01] Speaker A: Yeah, well, often when you're feeling down, you feel alone. And when your partner and you do throw out these little sort of I'm feeling not great. And when your partner notices and actually acknowledges it, you don't feel so alone anymore. And that can be a first step. So another way, and we just spoke about this is. Is speaking.
Speaking with admiration daily, so. And constantly almost. It can be a bit sickly. I, I do this a lot with Kim actually. I'll. I'll just. When I. She's feeling down, I'll just, I'll go hard with the compliments. I'll go hard with how beautiful she is, what she does for our family, all the cool stuff she does, which all of it's true.
I add a little bit of mayo on top.
So, you know, you might say, I love the way you handled that moment. I love the way you are with the kids. Thanks for sorting that out. It's. That's such a big thing. And again, especially for guys, guys love a pat on the back. There's nothing we love more than someone acknowledging what we do.
[00:29:03] Speaker B: And I mean gives us everything. Yeah, everything. You can acknowledge them putting their own shoes away and they will Love it.
[00:29:11] Speaker A: Exactly. And again, for women, it can be hard because it's like you're supposed to put your own shoes away. But for guys, it's like, damn right.
Damn right.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: All right. The third tip we would give is what. What Roggie spoke about is a really beautiful one. Or that quote that we talked about from Esther is celebrating the delightful in your partner. So celebrating the little wins they might have. It doesn't even have to be a win, but celebrating something that you find lovely about them or something that you see that they've done you exactly what we're saying now, it can be the mundane things, but remember that when you're struggling, a mundane thing can be a win. If your partner goes and mows the lawn, say, the lawn looks great, babe. Thank you so much. It's so nice to have it cut like that in summer and. And just be able to enjoy it, you know, have great family time out here. It just feels really great.
[00:30:05] Speaker A: Anything they do, anything that is a little win, anything that. That goes their way, just remind them of it. Hey, things are going your way, because that could. Because when we're feeling heavy, things can feel heavy. Like, nothing's going away. So just that reminder of, hey, you are. You are. You are winning.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: And actually that they're causing it. Like, that was your behavior that caused that.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: You're doing it.
[00:30:28] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He found. Found $2 on the street. Like, no, it's like, I'm proud of you. Like, you know, you've done well. Don't downplay this. I know you're feeling bad, but, like, hey, like, celebrate the win.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that.
[00:30:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And then finally, which is really important is watch what. What we're doing here. Once we've attuned, once we've really given them that.
That. That daily admiration, once we've celebrated their wins, we're really. What we are doing is we're being that secure base, that safe harbor for them, and you need to reaffirm that.
So maybe they've had trouble at work.
And it's like, hey, no matter what happens, you know, I've got you. We're a family. We're doing this together. I'm proud of what you do. I'm proud of what you do for this family.
I'm here for you. We've got this. Okay? Because being a safe harbor, being a safe space for someone is no matter how far you fall, you've got. You're going to land in a place where you've got people around you who love you. And just to be able to reaffirm that is really critical.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that one is. You're exactly right. It's the whole point. Through everything you're doing, you're saying to them, you've got a safe space here. Yeah, I love you no matter what. I love you unconditionally and I'm going to be here for you. I'm going to hold you. And really, the three key elements to what we just gave you guys tips for Notice them, support them.
Reaffirm that you're there for them.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: You're amazing. You've just spent quality time on your relationship.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Feel like you're on a roll. If you want more Living the Team Life relationship insights and conversations, head over to kimandroj.com where you can find all the show notes as well as tons of other relationship goodies.
[00:32:18] Speaker A: And if you liked today's episode, please hit subscribe or let another couple know know where they can find us. It'll make them happy and it'll make us really happy.
[00:32:26] Speaker B: Until next time, keep on living the team life.
