Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:02 Today is super exciting. We have our very first couple's conversation on the podcast. Joining us to talk about living and working together are Ka and Darcy from Virtual Hustle. These two are an incredible duo who have built a blended family life together and taken their team relationship skills all the way across into running their own business together to great success today. They're unpacking with us how it looks living and working together and why it works for them. So with that, let's dive on in with Karine and Darcy. Hey, we're Kim and Rod and we're here to show couples how to get the best out of their relationship so they can start living their dream life together.
Speaker 2 00:00:42 We're a West Aussie couple who are living the life of our dreams. We don't entertain the word should we think about the future as a field of possibilities, and we'll let joy be our compass.
Speaker 1 00:00:50 We've taken the simple idea of working as a team and applied it to our marriage and it's been a game changer, allowing us to work out what truly lights us up in life and to go after it together.
Speaker 2 00:00:59 From living in snowy Japan to starting our own house ripping business, we've achieved some big dreams and most importantly, we feel fulfilled and are having the most fun we've ever had.
Speaker 1 00:01:08 Pick conversations from inspiring couples, thoughts from relationship experts and tales from our own lives. As we help you to gain the wisdom and skills you'll need to turn your relationship into a real team. These
Speaker 2 00:01:18 Are relationship conversations for real people, by real people. So sit back, get comfort from whatever tickles you pickle, and enjoy living the team life. We'd love to actually talk through how you guys first met.
Speaker 3 00:01:37 So Darthy and I have both, uh, been married before and we're married and with long-term partners. And I think when you have been in that situation, you get out into this new single game. You just go on, you're on dating apps. So, um, that's how Darcy and I actually met and it was a dating app that I despised going on because of the name, but it's called Plenty of Fish. I
Speaker 1 00:02:01 Actually love that name. <laugh>.
Speaker 3 00:02:03 Yeah. And everyone keep kept saying, oh, you'll meet. So when you meet someone, and that's essentially, I, that how we met. We both kind of were at a point where we talked about, um, we're like, oh, we'll give it one last go. I think you say that a lot of times when you on the dating apps, on these dating apps, cuz you turn 'em off and then you flick it back on. And one night I was like, oh, just jump back on. I had my routine down pat with the kids, week on, week off. They just come back. I was just relaxing and I was like, oh, I'll switch it back on. And I started chatting with Darcy and it just kind of went from there. Darcy's version's probably a little
Speaker 4 00:02:40 Different. No, no, that's that's right. I was the same. I'd been in, in and out those dating apps and I, I actually didn't like them at all. I was quite frustrated with them meeting people and I just didn't go, Hey, sort of thought it was, I kind of felt like they were job interviews sort of thing in a way. It was kinda quite odd. You sort of sit down at a cafe like, oh, so hi. And it just felt very, didn't feel so natural. But yeah, we, that's how we met. But we were talking through the app and um, we decided to meet up at a little cafe just on the Gold Coast. And uh, yeah, Kane had her sort of day mapped out af probably after the catch up and I had my day mapped out. But we, the catch up you think goes for an hour, but we were talking for four hours. We didn't leave the cafe four hours. So we, um, I think Kare had some friends probably thought she was gonna get taken by something <laugh>, we haven't heard from you. You know, you, oops. Yeah. Um, you haven't messaged us to say you're, um, you're, you're all good. And um, and
Speaker 3 00:03:34 We probably would've stayed, but I had three children that were at school that needed to be picked up by their mother. Um, Darcy didn't need to pick up his son, but I was like, I actually have to go. So I, it kind of just ended I guess like that. And, and then, you know, just keeping in touch. And we obviously had our kids on different rotations, so we were always trying to navigate that and it just kind of blossomed from there.
Speaker 1 00:03:58 I guess. It's so interesting that you guys say you talk for four hours because whilst Roger and I met at uni and we were friends for a few weeks before we sort of started trying to hooked up date, date as an 18 year old <laugh>. Um, even then we, the first night we caught up at my place, we talked till three in the morning. And it was one of those moments where I think, you know, one of the tenants of a really, um, strong relationship is a sense of safety. And I think when you meet someone you feel safe with that conversation just flows so easily because like, you, you know what you are saying Darcy, with, when people feel like they're interviewing you, your walls stay up. You're like, I don't know if I'm safe to say A or B, what am I getting judged for? And when you meet someone that's, that makes you feel safe. And it's, it's kind of, it's like giving me goosebumps thinking about it. It's kind of magical. Cause that's pretty rare. The walls come down really quickly and you get that beautiful conversation.
Speaker 4 00:04:53 Yeah,
Speaker 3 00:04:53 Yeah. And you just didn't, yeah, it was just, there was just a moment I was like, I was like, I think I need to like look at my phone and see what the time was. Cause it's almost like I've gotta check in and then, yeah, by the time I was like, I actually have to leave in about half an hour <laugh> to go pick up my children. Um, and I think, you know, people have that perception of dating and dating apps and it's, you know, it's just a booty call type, you know, that whole situation. So when we talk to people about how we met, everyone's just like, it's a bit of a talking point. And sometimes, you know, we will say how we met at first, I was like, oh, don't tell people we met on a dating <laugh>. I was really like, I felt a bit, I don't know, I just felt funny because I had other girlfriends that, yeah, they were single too, but they never really met anyone.
Speaker 3 00:05:38 And I'm thinking, how does this happen? Like, is it real like that you meet people on these things? So I was really funny. I was like, don't tell people, but clearly we do tell people. Um, and I think that safety thing, you're a hundred percent right. Yeah. Um, you probably don't think about it at the time. And I sometimes reflect on when I met Darcy and you know, we talk about that, but yeah, I don't think you really, until you just mention it, then I'm like, yeah, the safety Yeah. Kind of the walls coming down is exactly right.
Speaker 1 00:06:06 It's such an interesting one, you saying, you know, we don't tell people and like we've had things, you know, in life. So, and, and obviously you're telling people now where you have that initial reaction where you think, oh, am I gonna be judged for this? And it's, it's so crazy because you're just being your own human self out there using it, you know, using a, a mode of technology that's now making it more accessible to meet other people. And yet we Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's another thing we talk about here is these social constructs that just keep us so jammed in fear and worried about judgment all the time. And you where parents, obviously to an autistic, um, child we've spoken about before who is, is non-speaking and there's a lot of stigma and fear around that space in the universe. We've really had to step up our game and realize that, you know, those social constructs just are made up <laugh>. They're not,
Speaker 2 00:06:57 They're not real. Once you realize that, um, no one actually spends much time thinking about you, just like, you don't spend much time thinking about other people. And so you actually have the ability as an adult to do whatever you want to do and go about life the way you want to, and it's your own values that really matter. Yeah,
Speaker 1 00:07:16 A hundred percent.
Speaker 2 00:07:17 Um, so, so saying that, did you guys, uh, like what were the sort of inputs or search criteria for, for it either that you put to put, put in there? Do,
Speaker 1 00:07:27 Do you have the opportunity to do that on that app? Put
Speaker 3 00:07:30 Stuff in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do. Um, I'm gonna talk it from a female point of view. <laugh>. Um, there was a lot of, uh, photos of like men and their boats and fishing and that stuff that did not interest me at all. What
Speaker 2 00:07:46 <laugh>? Um,
Speaker 3 00:07:47 And I probably, I had some dates and things prior to meeting Darcy and, uh, look, I was with, um, before I met Darcy, my ex-husband was 10 years older than me. Um, and for me, I was probably never going to like someone younger than me, but it was that thought of, maybe I'll try that <laugh>. Um, clearly that's, it definitely wasn't like, yeah, I just, I don't know, think the maturity of females versus males. Yeah. And it really does show, I was just like, hell no. Um, and obviously I've got kids, so you've gotta think of the flip side of that. And really at first when you're on these dating apps, you're not thinking about marrying the guy all long term. But there's things in my head that I think, oh no. So I had my app sitting around, I think they had to be like 36 or 30, you can age it and above, but I wouldn't go over 45.
Speaker 3 00:08:40 I was probably in about a 10 year gap <laugh>. Um, and then it was really based, you couldn't really hone it in. But I think if you honed it in you'd find dovan because they're not out there. Um, and things like smoking, I, I'm not a smoker, so I, if I saw that thing, that was a no. Um, fishing photo was definitely a <laugh> a swipe. So I probably, for me it was about, um, I really had no idea I'd been with someone since I was 18 and I didn't even know who I was. So I was probably being unrealistic in being honest with myself. Um, but I think for me it was that just a bit more ma mature person that did have kids. Um, because I, in my mind I thought someone without kids is not really gonna understand my emotions on the kids or not having them, or if I'm feeling shitty cuz they're with their dad for the week. Yeah. So that was important to me. Um, and I think having them having kids, they also have that understanding of there is someone else in their life. Yeah. Not just themselves and the selfishness part of it. So that's kind of how I wrapped my, um, thing. And, and when I obviously then changed that and realized got off a few times to come back on, obviously that's when I met Darcy. And
Speaker 1 00:09:57 Would you actually put like details on there? Sorry, Kareen, just to ask like could you Yeah. You could actually say like, these are the things I'm looking for. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. Cuz it's such an insightful, like you have to take that moment to reflect on what you actually want, don't you really to mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 00:10:12 Yeah. And when you dunno, you're kind of, but then you don't wanna have it too broad because to be honest, I would wake up in the morning from the night and be unin with random messages and I was just like, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. I was like, wow. Yeah. So it, and you know, I think for, for people I think it, it's a feel good thing as in a whole, these men are after me, but you, when you nut it down, that's not what it is. Um, and I obviously had no idea of that because I'd been with someone since I was 18, so I think I had one serious boyfriend, so I had no idea what it was. Um, and I think with Darcy, and I'll let him talk about his measurements, but I think with Darcy it was, he was pretty quick to be like, oh, let's catch up. And I think some women would be like, oh, that's a bit much. But I think you could only talk so much Yep. On text. Oh yeah. And then when you meet that person, your expectation of them is not that, and it quickly can fall apart. Cuz you can be a really lovely person via text.
Speaker 1 00:11:15 Yes, I agree entirely. It's, it's an different experience in person. Yeah. And when, when someone wants to stay on text, you kind of have to wonder as well, again, it's like that wall's coming down when we're on text, we can really keep those walls up. And it's not, it's not really exploring and, and showing your vulnerability into the relationship. There's
Speaker 2 00:11:35 Not, there's no commitment over text is there? So like by going, Hey, that's made up. It's like, hey, are you, are you step one? Are you serious? Like that you wanna actually see me? You're a real person. Yeah.
Speaker 4 00:11:46 In my experience with those apps, I was more of the communicator talking, you know, and you, you know, you might connect with someone, you get on a bit of a message sort of train, and that message train lends into the next day and the next day. And I wasn't very good at sort of going, oh, so would you like to catch up? I just would just go with the flow on the message with the girl that I was sort of messaging. So I wasn't being sort of ultra assertive and saying, yeah, let's, let's meet up. I was waiting for them to sort of make that move. And then in that couple of months leading up to it, I was just probably, yeah, dating sort of different women in terms of just like, and like catch up coffees and stuff. And I realized, oh, this is just, I'm sort of getting asked out if that makes sense and I'm not really asking, I'm just going out them.
Speaker 4 00:12:30 Cause they sort of said yes and I, I was going to these dates and I was like, oh, this is terrible. So when I had seen Metre, I was like, she's actually like, she's got kids. And we did that sort of message stuff, when do you have your kids and things seem to align. And it was my brother that at the time, he sort of said to me, you've gotta stop messaging all the time and just, just ask them out and, and just put yourself out there more and take the lead a bit. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll, the next person I talk to, I'll try that. And then with Karine, I was like, after, you know, a handful of messages, I did say, oh, are you doing anything tomorrow? Would you like to have coffee? And she's like, yeah, cool. Let's, let's do it.
Speaker 4 00:13:05 I'm free. And I went, I'll leave actually did work. I <laugh>, you know, I just, I asked a question and that did happen. So, um, I think without that sort of bit of advice, I would've been like, oh, you know, yeah, it's a nice day today, isn't it? You know, just like be real, you know, talk about, talk around things and not be direct. And that was, that was something I need. And in terms of parameters, I, yeah, again, I, being, I, I am eight years older than you, Rob, so I'm, yeah. At that time I've been 40, 41. Yeah. And so I did have some dates with girls around my age, the conversation, even the pace of conversation was sort of just different. And then when I had met Metre at that stage, you were 33 ish. Yeah. And sore, just the conversation just blew better.
Speaker 4 00:13:52 And I, yeah, I just connected with Kare better being younger, younger than me. And so for me that was, you know, I didn't put in anything major. I think the kids thing probably I would've put in as a filter because yes, I had my son Riley being, you know, at that stage now, single day, you're like, yeah, you wanna possibly meet someone on the same wavelength in terms of that. Um, but yeah, so that, yeah, that was basically about it. So, and and location stuff. You can put these location parameters in 50 ks, hundred Ks. Oh, it's Australia wide, you,
Speaker 3 00:14:28 That works, I think
Speaker 4 00:14:30 <laugh>.
Speaker 3 00:14:30 And I think that's important because you know, you Yeah. Work, you've, you know, you essentially, you know, you've got, well, I knew I had a week where I had the kids on my own. I had to still work full-time and you know, still give a hundred percent to them. And, and then on the flip side, that week without them was really just resetting and getting your shit together. Because by the end of the week, you know, you're pulling your hair out. I had three young kids, I was, you know, dragging them to, before school care, I was working this really stressful corporate job driving to Brisbane, which was about an, you know, 40 minutes to an hour sometimes. And Oh wow. Then I'm picking 'em up on the fly. And so, you know, I was that, that getting to the Friday, the reward for me was my girlfriend's like, Hey girl, where are we going?
Speaker 3 00:15:12 Yeah, we would just get change. We would meet, and then we would just pretty much recover on the weekend in terms of, you know, we'd just all hang out together and then you'd reset and, and it was al almost a coping mechanism to, to obviously you, you are meant to have your kids full-time, but you don't, and you know, they're fine, but you're, you're juggling. And I think that emotion comes through, you know, when, uh, when you don't have them. And so I found that, yeah, you needed someone in a close proximity because the thought of thriving or navigating to go to these people and dates was, it is a lot of time. Um, I obviously had been a week to, you know, reset and do whatever, and then I'd have the kids. And it actually worked well with Darcy in terms of, I had my kids for a full week, but Riley was kind of different times.
Speaker 3 00:16:02 So it was good because the week I didn't have my kids, it wasn't every day we were together, we were kind of set apart from Riley. Yeah. Which I think is good. Um, so we would might have a dinner on the Tuesday night and then, you know, I'd see him on the, you know, the Thursday and then we'd hang out on a Saturday, but then he'd have Riley Sunday. And I think it almost stops at, um, being together all the time and having that time apart to then be like, oh, I really want to hang out with you. So I think yeah, you, it's, it's almost like an emotional journey, those dating apps, you know, you go up in those ways, but, and look, we do say to this day, we are so lucky that we were able to meet on that platform. That was
Speaker 1 00:16:44 About four years ago, was it?
Speaker 3 00:16:46 Yeah. Correct. Almost to this say Yeah. Another month, maybe four years. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:16:51 I, I heard you say in that Karine just that you were feeling, um, I mean, you're talking about obviously having a partner that was within a reasonable proximity from a, a kind of an exhaustion perspective, right? We've only got so many resources. Yeah. And it sounded like your job was one of the things that was pulling a lot of your energy. It, it's obviously like a natural way for me to, to ask, you know, is that how virtual Hustle came about? Because Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you tell me a little bit about that?
Speaker 3 00:17:22 Yeah, so, and, and I think, to be honest, it was my marriage and my relationship and how it was kind of formed in a way where I probably let things happen. So yeah, I worked in retail and commercial property since I was about 17, and it's a really high pressure job and I loved it. I thrive from it. But I think what I was, what I was holding from was I didn't really know how to be a mom. And because my ex-husband did a lot of that stuff, and I just put myself into my job. I had these three little kids, but I didn't really know how to navigate doing all of it. And I guess he ran the house. So people used to say to me, oh, it's great. You don't have to do anything. You don't do any cleaning, you don't do this.
Speaker 3 00:18:07 But I think in turn it, it turned you into like not being that person. You wanna be almost a robot. And that's how I talk about it. Um, and you're right, when I was get dragging those kids to before school care and stuff, they had the best life in terms I could give them everything, but I couldn't give them me. Like, I couldn't, I couldn't on that week off just wind down and be their mom. I had, I, I just couldn't. And, and it definitely, you know, when I think back and you think back at these things, you just think, oh, you just, I have to put that food on the table. And, you know, I was obviously renting on my own and had a, you know, decent home to rent with. And yeah, I got to a point where two years ago I was, I changed jobs cause I thought it was for the better close to home, but in turn it was the worst decision.
Speaker 3 00:18:59 But then in a, the best decision, I guess I turned into a crazy lady in terms of I was micromanaged and I was in a high profile job, but I, they wouldn't let me do that job. Yep. And I was really unwell in terms of just anxiety and mm-hmm. I couldn't sleep. I was awake till three, four in the morning just feeling like a crazy, and obviously at that time then met Darcy and it, it felt like easier to manage the kids a little bit more, having that support, I guess you could say. Yeah. But obviously he's not the kid's dad, so I still do have to be there. And when Darcy said to me, Hey, you just need to quit that job. I don't care what you do, but you can't keep doing this. And as soon as I told them, I just said to them, I can't do this anymore. And I'd spoken to the them about it before and that whole instant release of pressure just came off. I did. I wasn't thinking, oh, how am I gonna pay the bill? I was just like, I've gotta get outta here. That's
Speaker 1 00:19:54 Just So, it is such a beautiful story because what I heard, like, you know, it really, what what gave you the strength and, and maybe the, um, space to think about, and I don't wanna give all the credit and offense Darcy to you, but because we're, you know, you made the decision, but it's so interesting that it was him saying it to you that that allowed you to go and make that choice.
Speaker 2 00:20:18 And you felt so comfortable one Darcy that you could say that to her after only a couple of years, and that you Karine felt that you could take that on board Yes. And not be like, well, you're just telling me what to do. Yes. You know, you don't know me. So I mean, that's that's pretty amazing.
Speaker 3 00:20:36 Yeah. Yeah. And it is, and, and like I a hundred percent there's, I, we do talk about that time and I think it, it can take a lot when you, you are, you know, you're emotionally your drain from previous years and things that have happened, and no doubt, you know, we, we both talk to someone professionally at different parts of our life and things. And so we are really good with that stuff. Sometimes the communi, you know, we are different. We've come from different traumas, but essentially very similar things. And, um, yeah, in my head he was just, he was just saying things like, but I hear that every afternoon and you know, you all the time you're saying the same things. And, and I think you do, you don't wanna hear that sometimes you think, oh, I just wanna be able to tell you the bad stuff and you're gonna listen. But I think you've gotta be able to reciprocate that and be like, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 4 00:21:32 Yeah. And I think I did say to Kane, like, I had some small businesses, I just knew how good Kane was her, her job, but she was just, didn't have that freedom to do her job. So I thought, this is just not making sense. I said, you should just, like, let's just finish up. Like, just
Speaker 3 00:21:47 For me, it probably triggered how I was in my old marriage and that was clashing and then obviously my mental health, it was struggling. And I think when Darcy said that, he, I'm like, I've just gotta do it. And yeah, it was fine. I house cleaned for about six months in and out before starting virtual hustle. And you know what? I absolutely loved it because I'm a, I love to help people. And so for me, I was taking something away that when I mopped that last bit of mop, when I come out of that house listening to music, I actually felt more achievement than I did in that job that was paying me a hundred K a year.
Speaker 2 00:22:25 Mm-hmm. I love that so much. Yeah. The fact that you are you, he is like, I, I don't really care what I do, I just wanna do it for me. And I, I wanna be my own boss. Um, you know, I I think it sounded like you had to wean yourself off the corporate life a little bit and yeah, the, the last place you worked for might not have been perfect, but at some point of time you probably would've gone, Hey, this isn't right for me. And especially now in from what we see you guys do on social media and all that, you guys look like you're always just having such a great time and you're also so passionate about your, your clients. Can you te tell us a bit about who Virtual Hustle are and what you, what you do?
Speaker 4 00:23:04 Um, well, virtual hustle. Yeah. To be brilliant, honest, started with Kare answering a job in a gumtree at LA a young girl had a really cool, um, giftware business that she's looking for some help. Andrene said to me, oh, this, this girl's looking for someone to help her with her emails and um, and just answer some requests through social socials and stuff like that. She's like, I, I think I could do this job. I was like, oh, okay. She's like, yeah, I might just reach out to her and say, Hey look, um, yeah, let's chat. So she chatted to this girl who's still friends with today and close, close, um, business associates in terms of advice and stuff like that. And, um, she said, yeah, hey, let's meet up. Let's do whatever. So Green's like, she's gonna hire me. I like $30 an hour, $35 an hour. And, um, I was like, I was like, I'll take it.
Speaker 3 00:23:48 I don't wanna keep house cleaning forever.
Speaker 4 00:23:50 So, um, so,
Speaker 3 00:23:51 And I did, and I think I said to Darcy, I can't believe she's gonna home. She doesn't even, and I guess what you forget is you've got the skills there, you're just not Yeah, yeah. Utilizing them. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 4 00:24:03 And so virtual Virtual Hustle started from that. I think I help me with that. I help, I held with Cream with the name because I thought, you know, virtual this, I was, I I love that branding sort of background stuff. So I was thinking virtual assistant, virtual ninja, virtual, whatever. And I was like, hustle, hustle. I saw Hustle somewhere on something. I said to Cream, what about Virtual Hustle? She's like, Hmm, I think I like that. She's like, yeah, it's
Speaker 2 00:24:25 A cool name. It's a cool name.
Speaker 4 00:24:26 We called it Virtual hustle. And um,
Speaker 1 00:24:29 You guys are hustlers though, right? Like we see it on online cuz you guys are always present on social media. Yeah, you are. You are. Like Rod said, you're rooting for your clients. You're do,
Speaker 2 00:24:38 You're promoting our show more than
Speaker 4 00:24:41 We
Speaker 1 00:24:41 Do <laugh>. We, okay. We're not as organized with our social media, but yeah, it's, it, you are hustlers, right? We can see that. Yeah. I think
Speaker 4 00:24:49 Absolutely. And I think at the core of it, we are passionate, supportive people in general. And I think the business has allowed us to extend that through a laptop via Zoom calls. And I think yes, that is a really challenging space to be in when you are working with businesses that are at a crossroads where they're looking to outsource some part of their business, which is a lot of effort for them to make that decision to outsource. Yes. Let alone to someone that's a thousand kilometers away. So there's a very unique aspect of, um, connecting with people. There's a trust element and there's also a commitment to deliver on what you say you're gonna do those things you've gotta really nail otherwise, people are gonna say, you know what, I think you guys are full of it and you have no idea what you're doing.
Speaker 4 00:25:34 And, um, you, you are gonna last two seconds with people. So I think we are, you know, we've got a good amazing client base that we work with people from all over the country on different elements. There's no part of business we don't touch, we are open to all types of industry. Um, there's some that we are stronger in, but we don't, um, in our industry, a lot of people talk about nicheing. We we don't really niche into a specific industry, whether it's tech or hospitality or real estate. We kind of just flood up across the whole background. You niche
Speaker 1 00:26:09 Into support, aren't you really? Yeah, correct. Pretty, your ability to pivot and be flexible in that space of support, which is pretty incredible. Yeah.
Speaker 4 00:26:17 And I, and I think the unique thing with us is we're a duo. So we are a partnership in the sense that we're presenting ourselves to people that normally in virtual land it's a singular person that they talk to. So we've got a actually probably more hurdles to cross over because people like, oh, okay, I'm talking tore. But then Dossy is there who, who's who. I think it's, it's a, it's we're now really supernatural at it. But we used to sort of think how are they gonna, um, you know, trust what we do. And I, it came from a photographer, um, that did a session, a branding session with us and she said, you know what? I've been watching your socials and you, you do, you guys do some good stuff. But she said, I, I really think you need to sort of try, try and be a little bit h how do we get this trust sort of across your social so people see you and go, you know what, I trust them.
Speaker 4 00:27:03 And we went, wow. We never really looked at her like that. So we started sort of, I suppose, bringing more of us into it in terms of connecting the dots. And we, it's, it is fascinating when we talk to people, they're like, it's like, like you say, they know us, but also too, they've probably already made a decision if they're gonna work with us before we even have the chat because they feel like, you know, I get these people, they are a blended family. They don't hide anything behind that. They, uh, we share the, the good, the bad, the ugly and anything in between. And yeah, we do champion our clients. We think they're awesome. Um, they're only as good as our support and our backup cause they have trust to us and we don't take that lightly at all. So
Speaker 1 00:27:46 I love that approach. Can I ask, you said in there, you know, you are a team and it's clear that you are and you really, um, what you've just described there was moving even more deliberately towards, uh, getting your followers and, and the the broader community to understand that you come as a team. Was there nerves around or any trepidation around coming to work together? So changing your relationship from being one that was a home-based relationship to one being a home and business based relationship?
Speaker 3 00:28:17 No, it's, it's funny, we, I just saw Darcy in a, um, space where he was just going to work every day and just wasn't really enjoying it or he was really flat and there was like a part of me that knew how creative Darcy is about brands and things. And as I was getting busier in my mind I was thinking, I think I'll talk to Darcy about ta help supporting me. Cuz he was already supporting me with some clients and they didn't even know it. Like they thought it was me. Definitely wasn't me. Um, and that comes from like,
Speaker 4 00:28:56 We'll go back to the trust,
Speaker 3 00:28:57 But like that sounds was like, oh, he was just giving me advice. I'm like, oh God, that's so good. In my mind I'm thinking I'm shit. Like I can't, I don't do this. So they got to a point where I could see part Dsy doesn't always tell me how he is feeling, but I can read him like a book. So there was moments where it was very flat and he, I just knew he could give more. And I think that's where I, as a person, if I can see that opportunity to give to someone else and do put out their best, I think that's where I was. Like, I just said to him, and I actually was really blunt, <laugh>, I said to him, I am really busy and I'm gonna give you one week to make a decision. You, you don't really enjoy what you're doing because you can do more, but you have to make a decision.
Speaker 3 00:29:45 And this was just in the car going to dinner to meet the neighbors for dinner <laugh>. And I was like, I'm just gonna tell him. And he, he's like, okay. I said, but I mean it, I you just have to make a decision because I know what he is. Like, I just know. I was just like, it's not gonna happen. And I said, and otherwise I'm hiring someone so someone else will be here and helping me. And he's like, okay. And I just let him think about it and I didn't bring it up. Normally I would want to bring it up and badger him, but I'm like, no, no, he'll come back to me. And to be honest, he said, it, it is something I really want to do. And he said, but I've gotta resign. And I was like, oh God, here we go. This will
Speaker 4 00:30:21 Take weeks. You know, because I, the people I was working for were amazing. Again, they're awesome people. And I was just crossing, um, the Ts and dotting my I and just going to work Andre's, right? I was helping with some clients, you know, creatively and the, in the behind the scenes, but they weren't aware of it. And then when she said, oh, they like what you do, I was like, holy. She's like, yeah, that
Speaker 3 00:30:40 Confidence thing, I think
Speaker 4 00:30:41 Let's keep it sort of going. And I was like, okay. And I did another round of socials and she's like, no, she, this person loves it. And I'm like, okay. She's like, they, they think I'm doing it. <laugh> <laugh>. And um, I was like, well, I'll try this. And then, um, yeah, look, it just evolved. And I, I do, I I
Speaker 1 00:30:57 Love that little, um, teammate thing though there, right? She's your little supporter. She's building you up letting you know, like in the background, Hey, this is good to see. Yeah, yeah. You could see, but you could also see that sometimes in that partnership, you know, you, you do have to, it's, and it's not about walking on eggshells at all, but we, it's, it's a reciprocal relationship and you do have to, you know, be aware of what that person can manage and how much information you're giving them at one point in time. And that takes time to get to know their rhythm and what's going to support them in that space. And it's a really lovely example just as you're saying that, you know, I can hear like, I'm watching him and I'm thinking, how can I support him to see his potential here? Yeah. And I just, I I just think that's really lovely.
Speaker 3 00:31:40 It was huge because yeah, it definitely was huge. And I've been, I met Darcy at a point in his life where yeah, things were tough and you know, I could have just gone, I'm out like, you know, you've got too much baggage. We all have baggage. And there
Speaker 4 00:31:56 I've just had more, more <laugh>. Um,
Speaker 3 00:32:01 And I think so probably through that, I, yeah, I, there was a lot of self-doubt. I can only do this job because, you know, x, y, and z and you know, all those things. And we could talk about that for ages, but essentially you're right. I was just like that. I know. And, and that's why I was saying to him, oh, this is the feedback. I wasn't taking it on. I'm thinking it ain't me. I was saying that to him to make him realize. And then, then I hit him with the, well, I'm, I'm getting busy and I need you type thing. And then I remember him, I'm thinking, oh, he's gotta resign. And he didn't even tell me. He just came home. He goes, I did it.
Speaker 2 00:32:39 Yeah. I love it. So what happened? Um, Darcy's resigned. Okay, you own, you, you're running a business together now. How did you, how did you look towards the future and how did you find, I guess what your, why, what your purpose was together and how did that also work within the, your lives living together?
Speaker 1 00:32:58 Yeah, I I I love this question because it was coming up for me as well is as you were talking cuz you said Darcy, you were just crossing the T's and dotting the I, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So that's obviously not feeling like a purposeful life. So how did you two have the conversation or what did the conversation look like? Did you have it at that point where you were like, what do we actually want out of life?
Speaker 4 00:33:20 Yeah, well we've got a common, I I'm a bit of a golf nut, so I, I love golf and I like traveling to play golf, whether it's go to Sydney, Melbourne, whatever. I playing different golf courses and in our early stages of dating said to, I really like golf. She's like, oh, okay, I'll, I'll try that. So I took her to top golf in the Gold Coast and we did some golf together and she was actually really good. I was like, you actually can hit that ball like straight, you're all awesome. She's like, oh thanks. And I strategically gave her a hybrid cause I knew that'd be a good club for her to use. And so she wouldn't get frustrated and she was just smashing down the middle. I'm like, wow, this is insane. And so feels
Speaker 1 00:33:55 Good to hit a golf ball, doesn't it? <laugh> <laugh>,
Speaker 4 00:33:58 Lots of, we'll pay lots of golf. Lots of golf. And so look, we did a lot of little golf trips. We'd go, we've been so many places I've taken Decre, I've taken to so many top level golf courses and she's held her own on them. And I'm just like, this is gold. So our little getaways are turns into golf trips. We plan, um, you know, we've been to Hamilton Island Oh, to into Tasmania. We played um, Bonneville. We've done so many world class courses and all of it's been a, an a love of just travel, bit of wine, golf and just together it's, and it's just worked really well. So from the business I suppose aspect, it was like Crane said, Hey, we can do more golf trips. <laugh>, <laugh>, holy, she's right. Like we don't have to ask our bosses for time off if we want to go X, Y, and Z or we can, we can have a digital nomad life almost, but tie in the golf aspect.
Speaker 4 00:34:50 And so look, it's, it is a great question in the sense that I think we, we are ultimately parents first and foremost. We have that week off where we don't have our kids, but we've managed to build a business where we're passionate about helping people. And in the flip side, if we want to, we can plan little golf trips and go and do those things. And I'm super proud of Kare cause he's taken up a sport that most women would look like. Think that's what I get rid of my husband for four hours and don't wanna see him again. But Kareen actually loves it and I'm a, you know, I like a bit talking about the history of golf or who designed the course or just whatever. Sometimes I'm sure Kane just think blah, blah blah, whatever. Um, but I think deep down she knows at least i, I have a passion Yeah. Of something outside of just what we do. I still go to the driver range. I went yesterday for an hour just on my own hit balls and I'm no better than I was four years ago <laugh>. But I, but I love it. It's my outlet and
Speaker 1 00:35:46 Yeah, it's not the point. Is it how good you ares matters?
Speaker 4 00:35:50 Exactly.
Speaker 3 00:35:51 There was probably the aspect of is I was in that corporate career and I was always really driven to someone else's goal. You know, someone else's measure, you know, things like that. And at first I didn't really have any goals to be honest. I was just trying to get the business up and running and things. And when came on board, I remember within the first two weeks he's like, some, it's, this is not like working. And I was like, what do you mean not working? But it was just the way I did everything, it was all in my brain and how I would direct it to Darcy was like five different avenues. And that's probably when I realized, okay, well we've gotta get better. We've gotta get a project management system and we've gotta utilize it. And then that's when we put goals in place. Yeah. And the goals, some of them were just like little
Speaker 4 00:36:45 Trips or
Speaker 3 00:36:46 You know, if we retained three clients and we do this golf trip or we did this and then we didn't, didn't have to be a trip, but we went and played 18 holes at a more exclusive golf course that we liked or you know, something we wouldn't do all the time or you know, Darcy would go and do his thing on a weekend and I would go with the girls and we'd go and get our nails or something done. And I think I realized quick, if you don't have those little goals in work and for yourself, you're gonna burn out. Um, and that's probably, we probably weren't thinking about any of that. All we were thinking about is we can be more present with our kids because, you know, we weren't picking up and dropping off those before and after school care and sometimes a friend was taking them to sport because, you know, we didn't finish till five or whatever.
Speaker 3 00:37:33 Um, and I think the ultimate thing, which I didn't really know is money can't give you that relationship with your children. Yeah. And so the relationship I've had with my kids in the last two years of being present is huge. Like it's, it actually, it's a conversation that gives me goosebumps instantly because I think we forget sometimes what they need. And although they're happy, they literally, they all don't live without, they're very happy. We've got a really nice home that we provide. But I think it's that little conversation on the way to school that they don't say much cuz they're all about technology and so forth, but just those little things they say over time and it's like, yeah, I think we are so busy and yeah, we just forget that we still need that. And I didn't know how to do that. But like yesterday I switched off for half the day.
Speaker 3 00:38:31 I just went, it's not my week, but my son was running in a district and I was there 15 minutes before so I could wish him good luck. And then I was there till at the end and you know, you just, you don't get that back. And he's 12 and in high school now and really probably doesn't think I'm that cool, but he'll still now give me that hug and that kiss when I stop at the door at school, he actually kisses me. Before that it was always, oh, bye mom, you know, rush out the door, go whatever. But every morning he will give me that kiss. And three years ago he wouldn't have done that because there wasn't that instill that, you know, that relationship. And I, I probably, for me, the goal is definitely I wanna make money and I, you know, we want to go away and have trips and we wanna take our kids on places, but I don't think you can take back that what you get being there every afternoon and even though they'll annoy you for bouncing the ball behind you when you're trying to work.
Speaker 3 00:39:23 You know what I mean? Just those things. And I think that's what one thing, as we have both always talked about is just being able to create that environment for the kids to have that type of, you know, every afternoon it's busy, but we're both there. They'll be doing homework and they can heal out to us. And when we take them away, yeah, we might take the laptop sometimes because you just do, but we are there and we're in that moment. And I think that probably for us at the moment, we don't have any really big goals. It's just getting through those teenage years with the kids and understanding them because clearly, you know, there's so much technology involved with them. Um, and then the flip side is we obviously do wanna grow the business, um, but we only wanna work with people that, that we align with.
Speaker 2 00:40:11 We, we've got, we've got a rule and it's called the no dickheads rule. <laugh>. And it is, it's, we don't work with anyone's, we just say we do not work for people no matter how good they are, how famous they are. Not that that's a problem at the moment, but if they're dickheads and, um, it holds us some really good stead and also helps us when perhaps we have a bad interaction with someone, which we often had in our careers or, um, when we started our flipping business and now this podcast that, you know, I go, Kim might say to me, oh it's really, you know, I had a really bad interaction. I go, yeah, but babe, he was a dickhead. And so it it's it's just one of those that's almost a value for us. Oh I
Speaker 3 00:40:48 Think it is. It is. We call 'em bananas. Bananas.
Speaker 2 00:40:52 That's so Queensland, you, your, your slip tassie is slipping into the Queenslander <laugh>. I love it.
Speaker 3 00:40:59 And and it's true because you, you know, like, oh, I think back to when I first started, I just work with anybody and I probably saw the 10 red flags beforehand and then I'm saying that, oh my God. And he's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. And then now it's like, we'll have a discovery call and like, we had one this morning and it, it just went so well in terms of no doubt, the, you know, we are gonna send him that proposal and there's gonna be most aspects I he'll work with us. He just said to us, we, I see what you do on your website. You are what you, you know, you are, we, and I love that we can chat. We, and people go, oh, you don't mix personal with business. But I think at the end of the day, you've gotta understand he brought his little kid in and showed us his kid, like not many in the Zoom call.
Speaker 3 00:41:44 And I said, we love that. You know, we have our kids week on, week off. Yeah. We'll tell you the week we're busy and we have, you know, less and you've gotta know when that kid's birthday is or remember those small things like Darcy said, why are you writing that down? I'm like, I'm telling you, I'm writing that down for a reason. Yeah. Because if you and people go, you can't be that personal. You're following them on their personal social media, but you are understanding their, you know, what they're doing and their kids and, and that, and I think that's probably what we do well in terms of it's
Speaker 1 00:42:17 Connection, isn't it? And people
Speaker 3 00:42:19 Go one percenters.
Speaker 1 00:42:20 Yeah. And they make a huge difference. People uh, people underestimate and undervalue, um, how important it is to build a relationship and they get very caught in the perfunctory. So just the like doing of the whatever is required to get the outcome. And they miss that if something goes wrong, if you have a relationship, and this is what we talk about, even in terms of romantic relationships, if you've got a, like a banker credit with that person that's something that went wrong is fine. It's a blip on the radar. It's exactly the same with your romantic partner. You got a bank of credit, you know, they're not a bad person, they're not being malicious. You don't go into that adversary fight role. Yeah. But same thing with a client. If you don't have that bank of credit and something goes wrong, they're so quick to judge and change their perspective of you. And I'm exactly the same as you Karine, I write down everybody's birthday, anyone we interact in our lives with, that's important to us from whether, you know, I mean we have a lot of different people with therapists and all sorts, but I celebrate their successes and their personal triumphs in life, birthdays, whatever, engagements, marriages, babies. Yeah. Because I'm, I'm building that connection with them and the bank so that a hundred hundred
Speaker 3 00:43:30 Understand
Speaker 1 00:43:31 It's it, and it is important. It makes you happier day to day anyway because we're, we're built for relationships. But also it just gives you that credit and it gives you that smoothness. You blip out those those ups and downs because we understand that. Well,
Speaker 2 00:43:45 They say back in the day, oh it used to be all about relationships and now it's all online, it's zoom, it's this, that and the other. But I think the fundamentals of a good business relationship haven't changed. Where you, you do need to just cuz you're not maybe shaking someone's hand in person. Um, you do need to be let inside their world a little bit to build that trust, to build that sense of responsibility. And not only that, when you own your own small business like we all do here, is it's very hard to it not be a part of your life. When we are setting our goals in our why and our values, um, Kim and I are going, well wait, are we setting our business wire girls or our life wire? We're goals because we're really setting the future of us. And what I loved before is that you said, oh, we're not really setting some long term goals and, and I asked you about your why and what you, what I heard from you is that you were setting the, you get to set the course into direction of your life. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you get to go, I'm gonna spend more time with the kids. I'm gonna go on active, um, uh, joint dates with uh, Darcy, we're gonna go explore Australia, you know, I'm sure on these 18 holes you get to talk a lot about life and, and the world. And so, and you get so involved with each other. So, um, or is it a bit like don't talk while I'm teeing off. Okay. <laugh>
Speaker 4 00:44:58 Or I'll be teeing off in another way. We were in, we were in New Zealand midway through last year. Kare taught me for my birthday for the weekend and we played Titering golf clubs. Stunning course. Um, so good and halfway through cream was just hitting it really bad, like it was going left, right <laugh> and she never, she never does this. So here we are and it'd just been bucketing with rain for days before that. So we
Speaker 3 00:45:19 Were sludging
Speaker 4 00:45:20 Roof,
Speaker 3 00:45:22 It was disgusting. And we,
Speaker 4 00:45:23 And we hide clubs so we didn't have our own clubs. That's kinda like you are using other people's utensils type thing. I just, it felt different and she's just chopping it and I'm sitting there going, oh this is painful. You know, you're paying X, Y, and z. We're doing this, we're doing that. And she's just getting frustrated. So I just walk about 50 meters to the right and I head up the right hand side of the fairway and I just didn't talk to her for about two holes. I reckon that's like 700 meters. So you are like two holes is like a long time engulfed to not talk. And then she starts, I just said to her, you just gotta get, put the, just stand back a little bit and just put the club back. And I use a training thing. We talked about ages.
Speaker 4 00:45:56 I said, just, just sit back on your right foot a bit. And she smoked it down the middle. I said, see, that's it. She's like, oh, I'm back. I'm back <laugh>. I love it. And we started talking and we still laugh about that story because that's a clear example. I didn't get on top of her and say, you're not doing this, you're not doing, I didn't bombard her stuff. I just gave her space and said, she's gotta figure this out for herself, <laugh>, and I'll chime in when I think the time is right. And I just waited till we got to that hole and she's like, yeah, I can see she was ready for feedback. <laugh> <laugh> and a bit of a training tip. And she's good. Like every time I give her a basic training tip, she takes it on board and she's like, yeah, you're right. I wasn't, I wasn't doing that. Yeah, I'm, I'm hearing it really, it's
Speaker 3 00:46:35 Of you. Yeah, I do. And I think being a blended family as well, throwing that in the mix is Mm, yeah, you've gotta be, your communication's gotta be there because otherwise your expectation, their expectations, the kids, it just doesn't work. So I think when people say to us, how do you work together every day? Oh, we couldn't work with our husbands. But I do laugh cuz I'm thinking, yeah, I can see why <laugh>
Speaker 4 00:47:01 Communicate.
Speaker 3 00:47:02 Um, and, and you can see it, but you don't, I don't say that a lot of the time, but I definitely, you know, a couple of friends, they, they get it. They're like, oh, you guys are great. Um, and I think we, as long as we are doing that, I think we'll just, it'll just keep going. And um, I think we probably don't give ourselves enough credit sometimes when we're working away or working hard and things that even today were like, right, we're stopping this afternoon, we're gonna go to the movies and just chill out before the kids kids come back. Cause otherwise we'd be working till nine tonight because we know they're coming back. So yeah, I think we've grown a lot in terms of understanding. Okay, it's about us now, not the business. Cause we talk about the business so much. Yes,
Speaker 1 00:47:41 We know it's exactly what you mean, <laugh>
Speaker 3 00:47:43 Yeah. You would know it too. And because you, you're so passionate about it because that's your livelihood, but then you're like, oh, I forgot what you actually look like. You know, like that type of, you know, thing. And we did, we, I said that and I just like, let's go. And I'm like, yeah, Benny's burgers have got two for one. So we're like, right,
Speaker 1 00:47:59 We're, oh my God, I love it.
Speaker 3 00:48:01 And we were like, gosh, it's Thursday night. We're always getting low on the food because we restock the kids come. So we're like, it's perfect. So, but probably six months ago we wouldn't have done that. We would've just worked till like 9:00 PM and, you know, wanting to almost have it, I guess perfected. But there's also an element of now we're like, no one's dying if we're not attending to that. And I, I kind of see that as a, a good growth part for our business because it's, it's gonna make it work better.
Speaker 1 00:48:30 It's so intentional and it's so, I, I just think that's so beautiful. It's such a, a great lesson. Our values are brought to light as we grow and change, right? So if we are paying attention and we're providing the space for it, which you do, when you nurture your relationship with communication and with time together and the intentionality you guys have given it, you just keep seeing more and more of yourselves and more and more of who you are as a couple. And, you know, you are describing these un unveilings really, of your, of your values. You worked out that you like, you sh you wanna share being active together, you know that. And you work out that you've got a value of openness. The fact that Kareem was open to playing the golf even in the first place. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so that starts to build that, that environment of openness and growth.
Speaker 1 00:49:15 And then as you go, you learn more, you start working together. And then you get to the point where you're like, oh, well actually we actually value our relationship above the work. And so sometimes we're gonna call it when we need to and put that space into the relationship. And it's such a beautiful thing cuz we know that the relationship work never ever stops. You are always growing, always learning. And I think people have this, sometimes this false idea that you either have a good relationship or a bad relationship. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I just disagree. It's a full spectrum and you are growing and changing all the time. Evolving. There is so much opportunity to grow in your relationship. And just because it's not working today, most likely means you just haven't had enough practice at all the things that you need to do to build it. And the more you work in practice, the easier it gets and the more you grow. It's like a funnel going outwards. Do you know what I mean? Like, you start really narrow and you just get wider and wider and you see that potential and it just grows in spaces that you didn't even know were possible.
Speaker 3 00:50:13 Yeah, absolutely. I, I think that's fundamentally so true. I think Darcy, um, we were talking about growing old and how relationships in the sixties, if you're in, you know, been together for so long and you're 60 and your kids are grown up, then you look at each other like, I don't like you anymore, <laugh>, you know, I'm out. And you do see that and you know, you've gotta check in with each other. You, you know, you are you okay? It isn't an easy thing. Like, you know, you do, you're like, oh, I don't, I I think they're pissed at me. I don't, I don't wanna ask or this is bothering them. But I think if you dig into that, then you get more out of that. And I, I think to myself, God yeah, I don't wanna be getting to six and then I turn around to you and say, I don't wanna do golf anymore.
Speaker 3 00:50:56 Like, there's days where I don't go, he goes, do you wanna come to drive around? No, I do not want, I just wanna chill on my own. And you know, I think, yeah, look, obviously I, we both, uh, uh, are separated and divorced, but um, you know, those relationships that they were different and you know, we obviously then look at perspective and we don't want that to happen again. Hmm. And so it's funny when we talk to our friends, oh, we are seeing like psychologists stuff on different things. They're like, oh God, if we went to that, our marriage would fall apart cause I don't dig any deeper. And I said, yeah, but that's ok. That's the way you wanna be. I've got a second chance at this and I don't wanna, yeah, I don't wanna make those same mistakes. I don't wanna be 10 years down the track and not know who I am again.
Speaker 3 00:51:38 And, and then be restarting it almost 50. I, I, it actually scares me to think of that side. I don't, I wouldn't know now not how to communicate with Darcy. Like I think going back to what I used to be like, and girls do, my girlfriends say that to me. They're like, oh, Darcy got the strong version <laugh>. Um, and we laugh about it and they're, you know, it's not anything bad, but they're like, wow, you are just so different to the person we knew five years ago. And I do, you kind of don't really think about it, but then you've gotta give yourself a bit of credit for being able to get to that point. Absolut.
Speaker 1 00:52:13 Absolutely.
Speaker 3 00:52:14 And I think it's, we are good in that aspect that we talk about things in our sessions and what we work on because there's downfalls of, obviously I'm with someone, Darcy's completely different to my ex-husband and I'm completely different to his ex-wife. So we're still learning each other. And by all means, some weeks aren't easy. But we try and navigate where we've come from. And I think when we speak to businesses and we are talking to them, we're watching those cues. And when they talk about these pain points, and cuz we're on Zoom and Google mean, we can actually see it. So you can almost sense, okay, that's definitely the pinch point. They might not tell you that, but the way they talk about it, and I, I think that's what we do well in terms of understanding the people. Um, and we get these good testimonials and we know we do deliver on that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:53:09 It's that beautiful crossover between y your growth in your relationship is impacting growth in your business. The growth in your business is impacting the growth in your relationship and you're getting that, that relationship across that benefit across both. What I love
Speaker 2 00:53:24 Was about you said, oh, I'm not, you know, my friends say I'm so different to the person I was five ye years ago, but imagine who you will both be and who you'll be in five years time. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And, and and, and I
Speaker 4 00:53:36 Think that's what excites me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:53:37 Yes. Yeah, yeah. And the work, the, you know, you talk about, you talk about how, you know, you've got the communication, right. And what Kim and I believe actually is the fact that, and what we see in you two is you're very aligned with who you are Absolutely. And where you want to go and what your value set is. What you believe in and what you find is that okay, you know, he's, she's really ticking me off, or Oh God, he's just not understanding me. But you go. But I know he is got my back. I know he's on my team, so yeah, I'm, I'm gonna be a bit peed off, but I'm not gonna sit here and go, oh, he just doesn't care or she just doesn't get it. You know, because you know, you do care, you know, you do get it. So I know that helped us a lot in our relationship. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 4 00:54:16 <affirmative>. Yeah, no, you're exactly right. And I think that's for us is, you know, we, um, definitely not, we are fallible in the sense that we are, we don't try to feel like we've got it all sold. We're still learning. We learn off, um, our clients. Our clients learn from us, I'm sure. But I think for us it's just, yeah, as long as we are open to, you know, continually evolving, however that may look and feel, um, I think we will be an acceptance of that ideal client, however you put that in vertical, that those people will come to us. They may be a year away, they could be two years away, but as long as we're continually on that sort of journey ourselves, we'll find those people and they'll find us. And that's all you can ever want for, you don't, you're not forcing a square peg into a round hole sort of thing by trying to be something.
Speaker 4 00:55:03 And then people go, eh, I think that nothing adds up here. He's a bit over the top and she's a bit quiet and I can see someone's a bit more dominant than the other in terms of the direction. And, and that's when things just collide and you fall over and you then you resent each other. Like, see, it's not working. You're not, you're not being creative. Lucky I told you to be creative. And I'm like, well, you're not as organized as you said, you're gonna be organized. And you know, it's, we, we are almost like a parallel train track one only creative, highly organized, but we get it. We know our strengths and weaknesses and we just stay on that, that lane. If that's the the new term, stay in your lane. But we, we cross over but we still stay in it and we just sort of like, we're just waving to each other as we're going in the same direction, but we're unified.
Speaker 1 00:55:49 I love that genuineness that you describe, you know, the fact that you both get to be yourselves and you've made that really deliberate decision to be who you are in your business and in your relationship and not shy away from that. And if we can't be safe to be ourselves, you are only ever gonna get so far and you're only ever gonna be so bulletproof for when, because the, you know, undeniably life will throw massive challenges your way. You know, you guys won't be impervious to it either. You know, there'll be years to come where, where stuff will go down that you did not imagine could happen. Same for us. Yeah. And what you really wanna have is that that solid foundation. And I just think, you know, the way you describe that commitment to being truly yourselves, and we've felt that as well, you know, that the last decade we've been together 21 years, but the last decade was really about us being very open and honest with ourselves and as a couple and building that sense of safety and it's, it's like building an armor around you.
Speaker 1 00:56:47 You know, our relationship is relatively bulletproof these days. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I don't imagine there's many challenges. I mean, you know, we obviously have an additional needs child that's a pretty big one. Relocating countries to make sure she gets the support and, and reprogramming how you see your future mm-hmm. <affirmative> and um, and that only brought us closer together. So it's an incredible thing when you get safe and honest, the connection that you get in the relationship and the opportunity you have in that relationship to be truly yourself. And also, you know, you are talking dsy about, well, if we miss a client or whatever because they're not aligned, that's okay. And I a hundred percent agree because at the end of the day, our, our brains are not meant to be in a state of conflict all the time. We don't wanna be jarring up against people all the time. So finding people that are in sync with us is really important.
Speaker 3 00:57:41 Yeah. But it's also a challenge in terms of, um, I guess yeah, I definitely, we can read now the people, but I always know that Darcy will have my back in terms of Yes. You know, backing me up. And this year I really wanted to focus on, you know, being better to myself in terms of obviously better clients. But then it comes with, well getting rid of some means little income, um, but then it gives you that time to work on yourself, which we all need to do. So yeah, I think even today when we're talking to a new client, we can talk about each other and what we do to the business and it's so comfortable in terms of we're not talking ourselves up, we're confidently saying, you know, I know Darcy can, you know, do that. He might change the direction a bit, but this is why, or Darcy said to this customer today, I can see you really like things done a certain way.
Speaker 3 00:58:35 Karine is so highly organized, you'll, it's insane. You know, it'll really work with you. You'll love the communication. So I think we do that really well and we never speak over each other in terms of, I j I just know that Darcy will say it. And if it's not necessarily the way I would say it, cuz let's be true, we're different people. It's still, I'm still, I would still never be like, don't you know, I've never, we've never done that. And I might get off the call and be like, oh wow, I probably wouldn't have said it like that. Or I might say over things or personalize it all, go off the beaten track. But Darcy will never, we'll never do that with each other. We'll talk about it after. And I think that's probably definitely something I've learned in from my previous marriage and things to, you know, there's a time and a place sometimes and, but it's still okay to say it and how you feel because we all have our own feelings.
Speaker 3 00:59:30 So when we do talk to people, there's like so many, sometimes when I'm, we are speaking to clients, I'm just, I get that feeling where I'm like, they are just so happy. Like I can see it from the start of the conversation to the end. I'm like, and honestly I can get off the call and I say to Darcy, they're gonna sign with us <laugh>. And he's like, okay. And, and because we turn stuff around really quick, the proposal will be there that day. They're like, okay, we can do this. But we don't, what we do well is we say to them, we'll come back to you and let you know when we can fit you in or start. We'll never give them a date and then never deliver on that. And I, being in the virtual world, I've been around and I've, you know, seen a lot of VAs come in and there's a lot of us out there at the moment. Um, and they might may not do it right, but that's just their way of doing it. But I guess we've learned from some of the mistakes and we've put them in play. Um, because if you're not doing that either, you're not going to learn. You're just gonna go to that next cus client and do the same thing. So I think because we are together too, I think we've always got someone to like talk to each other and be like, oh,
Speaker 1 01:00:41 The teammate, right? You guys have got the teammate thing going. It's so beautiful. That's something we talk about in terms of building the team, which is a big part of, you know, what we are here to, to teach on. It's, it's about knowing that person's got your back and understanding that every little interaction helps them to believe that. So you don't say things that are nasty about your partner. You don't do things that you know are gonna hurt them. You grab them a drink, you make them feel loved. You just building that teamwork. And I completely know, you know, when we were younger I probably would've <laugh>, like you said, I might have said to Roger, like, don't say that. That's not, you know, especially if you're like, you know, I think you and I might have kind of similar <laugh> quite, you know, goer personalities and it can be hard to pull back when you, and when you're an assertive extrovert as well because you've got a lot to spit out. Um, but really understanding how important that is to the team and that the team comes first because you guys are gonna have a way better outcome. What you produce is gonna be better. People are gonna trust you more because you're not sitting there undermining him like you are showing him. You guys where are united from, we come together. And, and that is just such a huge part of a successful
Speaker 2 01:01:54 Relationship. And the, the sounding board as well. It sounds like you're a great sounding board for each other. Yes. And I know that, you know, Kim and I, we, our, our office is literally just behind us, um, behind that door and she just turns to me in the chair and just says, oh, what about this? Yeah. And as Karine as you were saying is you can make decisions really quickly because you've got that sounding board right there. Yes. You're not sort of, oh, should I do this? Should I do that? Um, and so you can actually provide better service to your clients cuz you're able to make decisions. You are able to get the feedback to them quicker. And of course with the alignment, you're able to then go, yes, we're gonna take on this new client or we can stretch ourselves or no, they're not aligned with what we're doing and we're Yeah, yeah. The extra dollars would help, but it might harm some of our, the work for our other clients or it might harm our relationship because we're stressed about working for a dickhead <laugh>. Yes, exactly
Speaker 4 01:02:45 Right. Banana. Banana. The banana
Speaker 2 01:02:47 Banana. Sorry, I'm
Speaker 1 01:02:48 Gonna take that one. I love that. I've always come up with funny little quirky terms for things. So bananas right up my alley.
Speaker 3 01:02:54 Those things like they'll Yeah, the kids now, I'm like, what are you doing? They're like, oh, he's just a banana. My mom
Speaker 2 01:03:01 <laugh>. I love it.
Speaker 3 01:03:03 She stop him from saying an E word. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:03:05 Oh,
Speaker 1 01:03:05 That's, and it's a cute little family in joke, isn't it? You know, that's another thing we sort of talk about when you've got those little in jokes, those little things that kind of give you that identity.
Speaker 2 01:03:14 Yeah. You start to form the identity of who you are. Like, like, so when you're out golfing, you, I guess you're seeing yourselves as, uh, you know, partners, but when you're sitting down next to each other on the computers and Greg, do you see you like wear virtual hustle or Oh
Speaker 4 01:03:27 Yeah, yeah, definitely. No, that's, yeah, absolutely. Well, well for sure we are, we are definitely that we're from the moment we get up and to what we do, everything about it in between is, is virtual hustle. No matter what we, we will, um, do stuff this afternoon and no doubt we'll be talk about X, Y, and Z. It's virtual hustle mindset. Um, and I think that's, yeah, that's, that's a really good question, a really good take on it. We, I think we instinctively do do that like whole, it's like yeah. Being joined at the hit from that aspect. And I think, um, yes, o over time and I think we are doing that really well as people are seeing that we are, we are virtual hustle. It's not Karina's virtual hustle, Darcy's version hustle, Darcy taken over and ka taken over. We are, that's equal.
Speaker 4 01:04:14 We are one sort of entity. And um, people love that about us and it is unique. We probably, I wouldn't say flex that enough, but we, we definitely, we, we feel we've got almost like an unfair advantage because there is two of us that are Yes, yes. In that sort of same alignment. I think people, the people that work with us and get that genuine, uh, sort of service from us, I think they're just so, so appreciative of that. They can talk to any one of us and they get that same almost like, um, level of intimate sort of dialogue and nothing's sort of too high or too low. It's like, oh, I just spoke to Darcy, I spoke to the crane, and yeah, they've got it sorted. They're gonna get it turned around. Or, um, uh, yeah, crane has something funny, say Darcy, so something funny to say, they made us laugh or whatever.
Speaker 4 01:04:58 And I think having that human element to business because they wanna get a result, they wanna make money. We understand that everyone wants to win, but somewhere along the line there's gotta be that, um, you know, we're cheering from the sidelines, they're cut the clients on the field doing the work. We're the coach, we're the, you know, we're the water boy, the orange boy or whatever. We're doing all those sorts of things, things we are not there to, um, champion ourselves. That comes over time. When you deliver on what you do and you get that referral, that's your time to pat yourself on the back. But otherwise we are there to, to uh, give our clients every possible success and get them to a certain point. And we are almo and we are also super mindful that we can get them to a certain point. There's some points where clients will outgrow each other mm-hmm. <affirmative> and we can say, you know what, they've gone from X to X to Y A to B and we were a part of that journey and that's cool. They've gone to an agency or they've gone to something else. And that is actually awesome. That's,
Speaker 1 01:05:52 Yeah, it's a massive compliment because you've got them to that next stage. I think people miss that sometimes.
Speaker 4 01:05:58 For sure. And I think some people get confused with, oh no, that I do, I do all that. Why are you leading me? It's like, oh, we kind of want to grow and you've
Speaker 1 01:06:06 Grown us as far as we can go. And that's awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 4 01:06:09 And I think, and
Speaker 3 01:06:10 That's okay. Yeah. And
Speaker 4 01:06:11 That's okay. That's totally cool. That's, that's, and if you, and I think we make that transparent too. A lot of our clients said, Hey, we, this could be a year thing too thing, but sometime you are gonna grow and do other stuff that's cool. And it's like that, yeah, we're on the same page and they know what I'm trying to get to and I know what I need outta them. And that's a, that's a really cool space to be in from a trust perspective and deliverables perspective and just,
Speaker 1 01:06:35 I think so many people would love to know where they can find you because I think you, there's such a huge band. I mean the opportunities, especially for females on in the online spaces, as you would know, Karine having, you know, seen how incredibly aac accessible the online space has made, um, getting into business for women. The numbers have changed drastically in the last five years, uh, but not just women, men as well. So te let's, let's tell our listeners if we can, where can they find you if they, if they do wanna, um, have a chat to you guys?
Speaker 3 01:07:11 We really, um, probably we, we do get a lot of, um, chats through Instagram. So it's virtual hustle underscore and clearly we've got our website where absolutely everything's on there, www.virtualhustle.biz. And I think really that's probably the space we can be found on the other platforms. But generally I think the website and, um, that, and the Instagram's probably our main, um, main way. We are also on Facebook, same thing, virtual hustle, and I think LinkedIn is virtual hustle as well.
Speaker 2 01:07:51 You are amazing. You've just spent quality time on your relationship,
Speaker 1 01:07:54 Feel like you're on a roll. If you want more living, the team life, relationship, insights and conversations, head over to kim and rod.com where you can find all the show notes as well as tons of other relationship goodies.
Speaker 2 01:08:05 And if you like today's episode, please hit subscribe or let another couple know where they can find us. It'll make them happy and it'll make us really happy.
Speaker 1 01:08:13 Until next time, keep on living the team life.
