Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: It really feels like the whole world is limping toward Christmas right now. Tired, stretched and running on fumes. We all say we want a break, but somehow December becomes the busiest month of the year. The family lunches, the catch ups, the travel, the you're coming right messages, they pile up fast and before you know it, the holiday that was meant to restore you starts to drain you instead.
In today's episode, we're talking about why it's so hard to say that magical little word no, especially to the people we love. And how learning to do it kindly can make Christmas calmer, lighter and actually enjoyable again.
We'll share practical ways to protect your time and energy this season so you can stop trying to keep everyone happy and start saying yes to what really rest connection and your own little team.
People were always telling us, you guys are such a team. And we began to realise this just isn't the case for most couples.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: But we knew from our own experience of turning our relationship into a team that change isn't just possible, it's inevitable. All you need is a little direction.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: So that's what we do on this show. We steer you in the right direction. We keep it simple. We show you why relationship struggles show up and how you can start changing your relationship today.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: And we bring the good stuff by turning information from leading relationship experts and evidence based research into to easy to understand skills and tools that anyone can use.
[00:01:29] Speaker A: We also share insights from our own 23 years of experience together. And we chat with some incredible couples who offer their wisdom on relationships.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: If a better relationship is what you want, then get comfy, whatever tickles your pickle. As we prepare to dive into all things team.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: We're Kim and Rog and this is the Living the Team Life podcast.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: So the past probably month or so now, Kim and I have been transforming our term whiteboard, our planner to our Christmas holidays whiteboard.
It's been, I guess, overtaking what we have been doing to what we will do. And you know, a few episodes ago we dropped that big secret of how to transform your, your marriage and you said it wasn't sexy. Or maybe you said it was sexy. The whiteboard. Sexy whiteboard. Ultra sexy, I think. No, you said I was sexy because of the whiteboard.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: Okay, that is not what was sexy.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure that's how I remember it. Roger's sexy because of the whiteboard. So guys get a whiteboard.
But one of the reasons this is really important is because, you know, I think Christmas is becoming a more and more stressful And I think as part of our daughter's needs, not only do we have to be really structured in how we plan going forward, but we also have to have really clear boundaries. And one of the things I think Kim and I have become experts at is saying no to things.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a funny thing, isn't it? You know, I think our lives are complex because we're carers and we wish we could say yes more.
But if we flip that coin, I will say, on the other side, we have learned some amazing skills, like learning how to say no, learning how to plan really well for things, learning how to pivot all those other things. And today what we really want to talk about is that learning to say no, that part of the, of, of the skill set that we've grown, that's come as part of, you know, being carers. Because you, you can't just. As a carer, you can't just say yes to everything for your child. It doesn't work for them. You can't say yes to everything for your family because you're often at capacity, especially in holidays.
So you're far more deliberate in your decision making because you have to be. You have to be. Life, Life is.
Is genuinely more challenging day to day. That is just a fact.
And. And your reserves are more depleted. And so you have to get really good at saying no to things.
And so, yeah, we've got really good at that.
[00:04:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I think. I think we have got really good at it. And a lot of it was born from even our goal planning.
Our planning in our goal setting, sweetie, where we learned that you not only do you create your goals, then you are very clear on, Say you've got a list of 10 goals. Well, you need a. You're not going to get all of that done. So you actually whittle that down to the top five goals, for example, and then you have to proactively say no to those five that you're not doing. And that clears up that mental space. That clears up the space to focus on our little one. That clears our.
That. That enables us to act our plan and have that whiteboard for the things we've said yes to.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. And I think you know why this is so important at this time of year especially, is because people are so burnt out at the end of the year. You know what I've seen in the last few years and I've said to you, Roggie, is this real pattern of Christmas creeping further and further towards further. First it was the end of November now it's the start of November. We now know if we're booking any trades or anything like that in. If you don't book them before October, there is no chance you are going to get in before Christmas.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Yeah. It's not just the, it's not just the supermarkets that have all the Christmas themes and decorations going.
I think we're all mentally dialed into Christmas months and months out from the actual event.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Absolutely. It's quite a shift from when we were younger and when we started working when December was really like the Christmas month. Now it's crept all the way back to November. And I think the reason that is, and we've talked about this before, is people are so burnt out by the time you get to November. Again, we just need to bring some awareness to the fact that whilst the Internet's been amazing in lots of ways and it really has, it's been empowering in lots of ways, it has also brought this incredible stream of information into our worlds that is just fast paced and, and broad and it's, it's a lot for our brains. And I honestly think one of the reasons we're allowing Christmas to, or even encouraging Christmas to creep further up the calendar is because people are done back end of October, their brains have had enough, they're really tired and so they want that break to start earlier. They want the respite of the feeling of I, they're giving themselves a bit of a break. And I would argue that by saying no, you can really help yourself to give yourself that little bit of a break that you do need by then.
[00:07:02] Speaker B: Yeah, but everyone's doing the opposite, babe.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: I know, I know. It's kind of crazy.
What happens is, I think, you know, the, the real cultural norms click in.
[00:07:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:07:15] Speaker A: You know, the cultural norm of Christmas is that we do family lunches, we do dinners, we do catch ups, we do Secret Santas. You know, we expect everybody to be there. We expect extended family to come to all the family events. You get these, you know, comments, oh, you're coming. Right? You know, and you don't want to be the Debbie in that situation either. So you're like, oh, yeah, we'll be there. That's great. Now we've got four things on that weekend, but that's okay because we, we're doing the right thing. And I think that enormous pressure to keep everyone happy and keep this perfect Christmas running is, is exhausting. And before we know it, the holiday that we thought we were having is actually causing us to be more exhausted, which is not the point of a holiday than, than actually not being in the holiday period. So that's really why we're here today, is to unpack why it's so hard to say no.
So that in understanding why we're struggling to say it, we can also figure out how we can start saying it more and give ourselves real respite on top of all the joy of Christmas, give ourselves real respite that's needed at that time of year so that we can find things fun again and not so onerous and not so just forward driven all the time. We can actually find space to be present this Christmas 100%.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: Baby. If you're suffering burnout, and a lot of people are, I don't think it's just one of those catchphrases that we've heard recently. I think this is a real thing. Burnout because we're taking too much on and burnout from that constant, that constant information from our phones and from social media.
You need to rest, you need to recover, you need to be able to reset. And yet we're loading ourselves up because that is the social norm is because that's what we're used to doing. And there's a few other reasons why. And I think, you know, one of the key reasons why we, we can't say no to things over Christmas when it's so important to do so is because we're wired to avoid discomfort. Most of us don't say yes because we actually generally want to. We say yes because no feels too uncomfortable.
Saying yes lets us, I guess, dodge the awkward moment, the sigh from mom or from the sister or brother, the tension. And I think worst of all that, that guilt. Even if you don't feel like you are being guilted, you, you'll still feel that sort of underlying guilt of shouldn't I? You know, and that's especially true with family.
You know, parents and in laws, the instinct is really strong to keep up those traditions. And it's something we learned early as children, is that in your family you want to keep the peace, you don't want to rock the boat and then everything seems to be okay, but underneath that things aren't really working that like they should.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: I think that is a really important point.
Keep the peace, don't rock the boat is definitely how we're conditioned. We're raised, most of us.
[00:10:19] Speaker B: Yeah, keep.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: You don't want to be the one rocking the boat that's never celebrated. You don't want to be the one saying no when everyone else is Saying yes. We're humans that like to conform. And that leads us on to another key reason of why people say no, which is we confuse kindness with self sacrifice.
[00:10:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:38] Speaker A: So to not rock the boat, we give ourselves up. We sacrifice ourselves and our own happiness and our own peace so that we're not the outlier doing something different to everyone else. And we confuse this. Or maybe we just fool ourselves into accepting it by telling ourselves we're just really good people.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: We're really kind, you know, that's just who we are. I just, you know, I'm just the sort of person that says yes. It makes me lovely. And a good person says yes.
[00:11:07] Speaker B: Yes. Almost a part of your identity.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So the second we even think about saying no or considering no, we can also be really harsh on ourselves and actually label ourselves as selfish. That's a selfish decision.
Even though we're exhausted, even though we're overwhelmed. And, and so we're. We agree to do things like hosting, even. I mean, I've heard people saying, oh yeah, we're hosting Christmas with a brand new baby.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: And I have said, why would you offer to host Christmas with a one month old?
[00:11:39] Speaker B: Oh, because everyone wants to see the new house. Everyone.
[00:11:41] Speaker A: Everyone wants to see the baby.
[00:11:43] Speaker B: Everyone wants to see the baby.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: See the baby at someone else's house.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: You're just keeping pressure on yourself because that's your. You're worried what everyone else will think. This is what I have to do.
And you're almost, you're almost set. You're setting yourself up for failure or for at least a really stressful Christmas.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And the truth is we don't want to let anyone down, babe. And I think as much of it is like, oh, yeah, we don't really mean it. Part of us is like that guilt we. I spoke about earlier. Well, apparently the science tells us that that actually hits the same part of the brain as social rejection. So that guilt of not doing something, of saying no, makes us feel like we're actually socially rejected from a group.
Or I guess you're socially rejecting yourself out of the group. Either way, it's an uncomfortable feeling. So instead of sitting in that discomfort, we take the quick escape route. We say yes now. And we're like, I'll just deal with it later. I'll deal with the tidy up. I'll deal with the grumpiness. I'll deal with the fights. My partner. I'll deal with the exhaustion because I don't want to let anyone else down.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: I Think that's really profound. And I want people to sit in that for a moment. We are saying yes now knowing that we are putting a deposit down on discomfort in the future.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: And it's far greater than the two minutes of discomfort you'd have now if you just said no.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: You're putting unhappiness on lay by.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: But it has a tenfold effect as well. You, that will not be a two minute level of unhappiness because as many mums and I talk about the lead up to an event you've said yes to that you don't want to go to is so painful. Because I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Why did I say yes? And you are already experiencing that discomfort before you've even got there. Because the stress and anxiety of knowing that it's going to make you even more tired makes you feel even more tired before you go. It's, it's this, it's this, it's this human nature to avoid those hard feelings as much as we can.
And another part of avoiding hard feelings is we don't want people to dislike us. We don't want to feel like we're not likable. That's another hard feeling we don't want to, we don't want to deal with. And that's another reason people will not say no. They're like, I want to be thought of as likable.
[00:14:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:13] Speaker A: This is that we say this without judgment. We've also experienced this. Oh yeah. It's taken a lot of work to learn how to say no and feel okay with that. And that's something I want you guys to remember is all the stuff we teach here are skills that take time to get comfortable with. You're making a change.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: If they were easy, you'd already be doing it 100.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: So be kind to yourselves even when you're starting to make that change and it's not so easy. Be kind to yourself when there's some discomfort around the change. You know, if you, if you do something and you're looking for, like I said, that feeling of, of being someone who's likable, well, you're not going to have that feeling anymore. So you've got to sit with that for a little bit and be nice to yourself and say that's okay. I'm, that's okay if I'm feeling a little bit of discomfort. This is a new behavior for me in families. You know, one of the things that feeds into this dynamic of wanting to be likable is the idea that we all have roles as well. You know, this idea of I'm the host and, and that person's the driver and that person's the organizer, and these are the roles we play.
I must live up to my role because that's what makes people like me. That's how I fit in in the.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Family and that's how I keep the peace in the harmony.
[00:15:20] Speaker A: That's how I keep the peace in the harmony. You see, all these things tie together and it's. It. You don't have to fill that role. You don't have to be a character in your family. You are allowed to change how you think and feel about things any day. You don't. It's not even as you grow and evolve, anytime you feel like it's going to serve you to do so.
[00:15:41] Speaker B: That's right, babe. Because the truth is that especially in these times of burnout, especially after big, a big year, saying no protects your mental health. It protects your time, it protects your energy. It protect, protects your emotional capacity. That emotional capacity can then be used on, on your partner, on your children. And this is especially true at Christmas because too many yeses often leads to exhaustion. It leads to irritability. It leads to that feeling of disconnection with your partner because you've spent, or you've spent all year as ships in the night, just go, go, go. And then when that expectations of, oh, we'll, we'll spend time together over the Christmas break as a family and as a partner, and it doesn't happen because you've loaded up your calendar, because you haven't been able to say no, that expectation is not met. And you're like, well, instead of actually sitting there going, oh, it's because we're busy, because you've got that social, that other social expectation of I should be doing everything with my friends and family and, and, and saying the yeses during the holidays, you're then saying, well, it must be a problem with my partner and me. It must be a problem with our relationship.
And you just keep going through those motions. But saying no will prevent that resentment. It will prevent that stress or to prevent that depletion of resources, because over commitment is highly linked to chronic stress. And when we just say yes to avoid conflict, again, we're putting, we're putting off that discomfort now for that discomfort later. We overextend ourselves and that resentment continues to build. And the problem is the people we want to show up for, well, they don't get the best of us anyway.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Yeah. No is a boundary. And let's think about boundaries for a second.
Boundaries create freedom. And we've talked about this before.
It kind of sounds like an oxymoron. How can putting.
Okay, let's think of it as a fence. How can putting a fence up create more freedom? Aren't you more blocked off from that?
Maybe, but what's inside the fence, what gets taken care of and protected within the fence when you put that boundary up? You know, a boundary isn't about shutting people about.
A boundary isn't about shutting people out.
It's about knowing what you can realistically give within the. In the world that you have. What have you got in your home space? Without boundaries, we allow ourselves to head into all sorts of parts of our life or directions that can create resentment, that can create a sense of lost connection. Because nothing has the same depth anymore. It's. It's at a superficial level. I'm doing this because I should. I should is not going to make you feel purposeful in that space. It's going to make you feel drained. You know, we take on too much. Whereas with boundaries, expectations are clearer, relationships feel easier and you feel more in control because you know what's coming and what you've agreed to. And, and that sense of containment that that fence or that boundary offers is actually what makes humans feel really safe. It's a clearer space to be in. It's a more predictable space to be in. And remember, we talk about the fact that humans want predictability, they want clarity in their world because we are just biological creatures. Right. We're wired to look for safety. And those elements are part of what makes us safe. When we're saying yes to everything, we're in kind of an unsafe space where we're just out there telling our brain who, who knows what could be next or how long it'll take or how exhausted I'll be because I just say yes. And that leaves things open ended. And that's not really what we're wired for.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: You're creating chaos.
[00:19:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:29] Speaker B: Just to keep up appearances.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's also not honest. Do you know what I mean? When you're saying yes to something and you don't really want to be there, you're deceiving the people around you and you're deceiving yourself. There's this lack of congruence. You know, congruence is, is really a sense of where things match together.
[00:19:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:47] Speaker A: And so when we, when we say yes, but we mean no. Those two Things are mismatched. So there's no congruence between our behavior and our thoughts and feelings.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Yes. And that means sort of like in the back of your mind, you've got this niggle of why am I doing something I don't really want to do? Why am I being someone I don't really want to be?
[00:20:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And you end up with a sense of quiet resentment because you feel that resentment, that disconnection between. Between what you're doing and how you're feeling. And so your body builds in resentment. What is that friction? What's that frustration that's happening?
[00:20:21] Speaker B: Oh, friction. But, yeah, like you're. Instead of. Like you've got the wind behind you. You're constantly working against the system, working against the wind, so everything feels heavier, more forced.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: What you're working against is yourself. You. You know, you're trying to find congruence within yourself that your behaviors reflect your thoughts and feelings. That's where you find that peace. Right. I mean, you know, when. When we do something, for example, that we really want to do and. And we're really excited about it, you can feel that sense of flow and peace because it's aligned with who you are, who you see yourself as, what you value, what you want. We do something we don't really want to do, it's the exact opposite. And that. And that sense of dishonesty creates that. That friction. And what happens when we don't say no? Well, as we've said, we start resenting the situation, then we resent the people involved in the situation.
We dread life. We dread the moments that are coming up that are meant to feel good. The reason we said yes in the first place is, oh, this is supposed to feel good. And it's no longer feeling that way. And we show up as less of ourselves. We're tired, we're stressed, we're frustrated, we're snappy. And all that tension is. Is going to spill into home life. You know, arguments, crankiness with the kids, frustration about who agreed to what. And suddenly your Christmas break feels more like work than. Than the work you just finished. And we forget that Christmas is supposed to bring us a.
Well, I don't know what word is better than peace.
Christmas is supposed to bring us some peace, and I mean inner peace in ourselves.
You know, it's a joyful time of year that should bring us some respite.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: And peace, and that's the expectation. But again, when we don't. When Christmas doesn't end up like that, which it often doesn't, because we've said yes to too much. We're not set at the end. We get to the end of the break and go, I feel. I feel worse than when we started. I don't feel relaxed. I don't feel recovered. And there's that incongruence again.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. All right, Roger, on that line, I've got a quote for you from Nedra Glover Tawab, who's a therapist and boundary expert, and she says healthy boundaries are not walls. They are gates and fences that allow you to enjoy the beauty of your own garden.
[00:22:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. And I think.
I think what often people miss is when you say yes to something because you're too afraid to say no or you feel like you can't say no.
Well, actually, you're saying no to something else. You actually are saying no to something else because we don't live in a world of infinite capacity. We don't. We have only so much energy, only so much time.
And so when you say yes to something, you're blocking out a piece of time, you're blocking out a piece of capacity, a piece of energy.
And so you're actually saying no to something else.
So by saying no, you were saying yes to something important to you in your own garden. You were saying yes to something in your own life.
And when you put up these boundaries, these fences that you spoke about and that Nedra Glover to Webb said spoke, I love how she also says that these are. There's a gate in there because again, you get to let things in and out. You've just set that fence to allow your world to grow the way you want to prune the roses so you can smell them, to watch the ivy grow so you can view it. I. I think it's a beautiful way to look at boundaries, when boundaries.
Because no, no is just a. No is a way that you are telling other person that you have a boundary.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I love it. I agree with you entirely. And I think to, you know, absolutely take the metaphor to where you've taken it. If we think about our immediate family and in our immediate home life, and that includes our own personal well, being, our own mental space, because that drastically impacts our little world around us. That's where the fence comes in around our little unit, our partner and our children. That's where we put our fence around us. Right? And on the other side of that might be extended family, for example, they're outside the fence. Now, if you're going outside and watering the extended family daisies every day and you come Back in through that little gate. And you don't water your own garden because you've spent all day outside watering the daisies.
The daisies might look fantastic, but the stuff right in front of you, the bit you live with, the best bits, they're gonna look pretty shabby. And I think that for me was what that said was if you give to the outside, well, you can't then also give to the inside. We don't have infinite time and infinite capacity.
And our garden needs tending.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: Yeah, well, today we're actually going to tell people how to tend to their roses and their. Their gardens within their own fence, their own boundary by saying no. No.
[00:25:34] Speaker A: All right, so the first idea we have for you guys, or the first tip is to. Is how to say no. Because I think this is the hardest thing people say, but how do I say no?
Say the no first and then offer a kindness after would be our tip. I mean, if you really want to get into it, you can sandwich it. Kind. No kind. But, you know, let's simplify it with just a no and a kindness afterwards.
So most people do it the other way around. They start with the praise and then they end with the no, which leaves people at the flat end of the conversation. Both of you, both the recipient and the person expressing the no. So what we want to do is leave both of you at the. At the kinder end of the conversation. So step one is say the note clearly. Step two is add the reasoning. And step three is end with warmth, appreciation, or connection.
And that might sound like something like this.
We won't be able to come on Christmas Eve this year. We're keeping the morning and afternoon slow for our little family. But thanks so much for the invite. You guys are always putting on such a fun shindig. That ending of warmth, it really changes the emotional landing, and it ends the conversation on a point of connection instead of disappointment.
[00:26:50] Speaker B: Yeah, and I think you. You called it there where you've got that no.
And then.
But, you know, you're amazing. You're not leaving them with that parting gift of, I guess, rejection.
[00:27:02] Speaker A: No connection. You're leaving with connection. We value you guys.
We just can't come.
[00:27:07] Speaker B: And when we get it, like Kim and I say, this is something you have to build into a habit, something you have to get comfortable with. So you need to be brave. You need to be clear.
And it's important to understand that boundaries are healthy. And this is our. I guess our second tip for how to say no is don't apologize for having a Boundary. Don't apologize for having a limit. You don't need to over explain. You don't need to justify. You don't need a PowerPoint presentation or why on why you, why you can't make it. Or go. A simple kind no is enough.
We're not going to make it this year.
Then if you need at most one sentence for context about your needs, but then stop talking, because over explaining invites the negotiation.
Under explaining leaves room for guilt. Be clear, be warm, and you'll find that people will respect your honesty.
[00:28:04] Speaker A: All right, number three, remember, saying no isn't saying never. I think this is such an important one.
I think people feel this sort of finality in no, like, oh, I've rejected them forever. They'll never want me to come again. That's just not true. It's just a moment in time. Right now, at this point in time, it's a no.
Maybe in a month it'll be a yes. And this is one we've had to get really used to. And we've said to people, you know, please keep inviting us. Yeah, yeah, one day we are going to say yes. For us right now, it doesn't work. For whatever reason, for ourselves and our daughter, it's not working.
But we're really hopeful that one day it will. And so keep asking us. We're not saying no forever. You're not rejecting the person who's making the offer. You're not rejecting the relationship. You're not rejecting the tradition. You're simply saying, not that way. Not right now.
People learn this about you over time. They learn, oh, okay, it's just a no for right now.
And your boundaries just become part of how you engage with your family. You know, there might be a little bit of friction at first if people aren't used to hearing no from you. And that's okay. It'll work itself out. Those patterns that you demonstrate. I set a boundary, and maybe it didn't work today, but it could work tomorrow.
That's okay. I'm allowed to say yes today and no tomorrow, or no today and yes tomorrow. And people get used to that over time.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: Yeah. That's 100, right, sweetie? And we. And our fourth tip sort of leads on from that, is that you can offer an alternative, but only if you genuinely want to. Don't just, I guess, push off the pain for a little later for the next invite, oh, I can't now. I'll do it next week. Even when you have no intention of doing it next week. Because a boundary is not an obligation to find a replacement for for the situation you've just said no to. But if you do want another option, say something like, look, we can't do the full day, but we'd love to come for a couple of hours and if you don't, we won't be able to make it this year, but we hope you have an awesome time. Both are valid and both protect your energy.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: All right, the last Tip tip number 5 this might sound a bit goofy, but you know when you're making change, anxiety can really come into the picture. You can get worried about how it's going to come across. And because this is change that may impact yourself and the person you're talking to, they might have a slightly adverse relationship response. At first, it's okay to prepare yourself by practising the one sentence you're going to use before you go into the conversation. That's totally normal and it's a massively underrated thing to do. If you're trying to change your behaviour, you really do need to practise. It doesn't come off that smoothly the first time because you're not used to it.
So know your one clear sentence and it will help you to prevent yourself from rambling or guilt spiralling or people pleasing.
No, we're not hosting Christmas this year or oh no, we're keeping Christmas morning to ourselves or no, we won't be doing extra catch ups this week. That's it. Just practise the no part so that you've got that down pat and whatever else comes out, you've got your no, done. I've said it, I'm done. I'm good to go.
You know that line is going to give you so much peace. It's going to change how you feel about Christmas and the way you engage with the holidays.
The holidays are there for respite practice. The one line Give yourselves the respite and peace you deserve and enjoy those holidays the way they were meant to be enjoyed.
[00:31:44] Speaker B: You're amazing. You've just spent quality time on your own relationship.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: Feel like you're on a roll. If you want more Living the Team Life relationship insights and conversations, head over to kimandroj.com where you can find all the show notes as well as tons of other relationship goodies.
[00:31:58] Speaker B: And if you liked today's episode, please hit subscribe or let another couple know where they can find us. It'll make them happy and it will make us really happy.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: Until next time, keep on living the team life.
