Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:02 Our bank accounts are really feeling it at the moment, inflation is going up like a rocket and making fun stretches getting harder. So where do we spend our money when we start looking to cut back? The answer to this question might not be as obvious as you think today. We're unpacking why you and your partner want to get really clear on your values during this challenging times, so you don't start trimming away at the things that really matter.
Speaker 2 00:00:24 Hey, we're Kim and Rod, and we're here to show couples how to get the best out of their relationship so they can start living their dream life together.
Speaker 1 00:00:31 We're a West Aussie couple who are living the life of our dreams. We don't entertain the word should we think about the future as a field of possibilities, and we'll let joy be our compass. We've
Speaker 2 00:00:40 Taken the simple idea of working as a team and applied it to our marriage, and it's been a game changer, allowing us to work out what truly lights us up in life and to go after it
Speaker 1 00:00:49 Together. From living in snowy Japan to starting our own house ripping business, we've achieved some big dreams, and most importantly, we feel fulfilled and are having the most fun we've ever had.
Speaker 2 00:00:57 Hey, conversations from inspiring couples, thoughts from relationship experts entails from our own lives. As we help you to gain the wisdom and skills you'll need to turn your relationship into a real team.
Speaker 1 00:01:07 These are relationship conversations for real people, by real people. So sit back, get comfort from whatever tickles you, pickle, and enjoy living the team life.
Speaker 2 00:01:24 Okay, so today we're going to be talking about why you can have your smashed avo and eat it too. And the title of the show does sound, uh, pretty inflammatory. Um, and I'm just sort of wondering if maybe you could give us an intro to it, Roger.
Speaker 1 00:01:42 Well, it's funny, really. I think, uh, more recently I've been hearing a lot of the reference to smashed avocados, um, than probably in the last few years. It, it's come back, uh, it's from an original article in 2017 from the Australian newspaper. A guy called Bernard Salt, um, wrote a satirical article talking about, um, from the point of view of a boomer who'd come to a cafe. And there were all these crazy young kids sitting on milk crates, um, living the high life chatting and eating $22 smashed avocado with crumbled feer on five grand toast. And they were seeing their having this epiphany going, well, no wonder they're always complaining about not being able to buy a house if they're out having expensive breakfast every morning, which is different to how I did it in my day. Now. Now, of course, what happened was, we, we live in the age of Twitter and someone picked up on it, a, a millennial, and it just went viral, as in this is what boomers really think of us. And of course, as we saw with, um, woke, uh, and Snowflake and all the rest, we saw that, uh, the boomers then, um, took the other side and said, Hey, well yeah, of course, like you think you had it, it have it so hard. Imagine how we had it back in the day.
Speaker 2 00:03:02 So this article was written by a boomer.
Speaker 1 00:03:05 It was written by a boomer, yes.
Speaker 2 00:03:07 <laugh>. And the Boomer has commented on a generation of which he is, is not a member. Um, and it's caused a, a little bit of an uproar. And it's, it's something that you've sort of been noticing is coming back around this. And I think you're right, cause I've, I've heard it as well, this, this sort of, uh, rhetoric around, um, the differences between the generations and the choices they make when it comes to spending, um, and what they choose to spend their money on. And, and it does, it does lend itself to a bigger discussion rather than just what, what we are talking about on the face value. Um, why do you think the article was so controversial?
Speaker 1 00:03:53 Well, just hitting on what you were saying, Josh, that just then, um, there's always a bit of friction between each generation. I mean, you can see on the internet, um, the, the Zoom zoomer generation will pick
Speaker 2 00:04:06 Up, sorry, who are Zoomers?
Speaker 1 00:04:07 <laugh>, generation Zed. Oh, what generation they call them Zoomers. Zoomers. That's what they call them. Mm. <laugh> get, get with the Times Grammar <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:04:16 What am I like? Generation B, c You're,
Speaker 1 00:04:19 You're a millennial. Oh my God. So, uh, above us is Gen X, we're millennials, which is Gen Y cause we grew up during the millennium. Um, and then, uh, there's the Zoomers and of course the Zoomers are always posting on, uh, the Facebook and other social medias. They're, they're, they're not on Facebook. They're definitely not on Facebook. Cause their parents are on Facebook. We're on Facebook, we're on Facebook. Um, they're, they're always posting about, this is such a millennial thing to do to, you know, um, say things like Dog O and stuff like that. They're always taking the piss like that. Um, but of course there's, there's definitely a larger, uh, friction and divide against the boomers versus the millennials and, and the Gen Xs. Um, and part of that is around, uh, housing affordability, um, and the cost of living, which of course, if you are a boomer, you are, you are sitting there and going, you e every every house you live in, even your rental has a flat screen tv.
Speaker 1 00:05:17 You walk around with a a $1,500 device, which you update every two years, and you're going around eating, um, smash, DVR and toast and having $6 lattes. No, no wonder you can't afford a house. And, and that was the argument from the boomers. But of course, we know that actually housing affordability is a lot harder. The, the da the data's clear, is a lot harder, um, than it was in, in the boomer generation. Um, back in 2019, uh, the Gratin Institute actually came out and said that the millennials will be the first generation ever, well, in the last a hundred or so years to be worse off than the generations before them. So
Speaker 2 00:05:57 Our generation,
Speaker 1 00:05:58 That's our generation, and you know, a lot of it is to do with the
Speaker 2 00:06:01 What does worse off
Speaker 1 00:06:02 Mean, uh, in terms of, um, uh, quality of life. Wow. So, and, and a lot of that is, um, the, you know, the income or the wealth per, per household. Um, and you know, there, there's a million reasons for that. We're, we're not gonna get into here. Cause again, this is not a finance podcast, but there are a lot of tax breaks in relation to property and shares superannuation, which means that the,
Speaker 2 00:06:23 That the boomers had not
Speaker 1 00:06:25 Us, the, the boomers have, and we don't have access to. So for every dollar we have, we get taxed on a higher percentage of it than the the boomers will. Um, but look, it's more than just that. And, you know, I'd I'd, I'd posed the question to you. Do you think that's values driven as if, if more than anything?
Speaker 2 00:06:46 I think that that's really what's at the heart of this. When I think about why the article upsets two sides of the playing field. So the boomers and the, um, gen, whatever they are, Xs,
Speaker 1 00:07:02 Millennials just say us
Speaker 2 00:07:03 Millennials, why it's millennials. Was it not younger people than us?
Speaker 1 00:07:06 No young anymore. It, it's us. I mean the, the Zoomers. So bottom of, anyway, the bottom of millennial is about 27. Now. It's
Speaker 2 00:07:13 The young people. Yeah, the young people. The young people. So why do they, which
Speaker 1 00:07:16 Is us
Speaker 2 00:07:18 <laugh>? Sure, sure. Why do they get so upset about it? I think, you know, there is one side of it that's a, that's a bit more surface level, which is that we have different upbringings. And obviously that's generation to generation culture shifts. Um, I think when our parents were children, as our parents are boomers, culturally, there was a more save than spend mentality. We were, we ha I think we're evolving more as a consumerist society all the time. So consumerism becomes, um, not just more popular, it's just more prolific. The avenues to consume are, are greater, uh, the ability to consume at any point in the day is greater. So we are a more consumerist society. So there's that versus, you know, the boomers who, who lived in a time when, one, you didn't have as much access to consume. But two, I think there probably was a different mentality towards consuming.
Speaker 2 00:08:17 And I just think of my own parents, um, who were definitely raised in a fr with a frugal mentality and not saying stingy or cheap at all. They were certainly raised with a frugal mentality. And when I was young, they imparted that onto me. As I got older, they sort of loosened up a little bit in that area. Um, and I guess that's as society and culture shifted as well. Um, and, and they had more money to be able to loosen up with. Um, but what I think is really underneath the, you know, what you talk about in terms of generational differences is actually our value system, as you say. Um, and the fact that the $22 that the article referenced for pa for avocado on toast at face value, it certainly seems like a lot of money when, because I mean, what are you comparing it to, what you can make avocado and toast for at home?
Speaker 2 00:09:14 Well, I mean, a few years ago, the avocado would've cost you six bucks, but now you can make it at home for say, $4, right? Yeah. So, you know, you're paying an $18 markup on something. Um, and I think on face value, that sounds like a lot, lot of money and, and it is on face value. But when we think about values, we are actually thinking about what it's worth to someone to, to pay the $22, what do they get out of it? And I think for generation X, y or whatever the young people are in this scenario, they get something far greater than just eating avocado on toast by being able to go out to a restaurant and share this real life experience with people around them. And remembering when we are juxtaposing how people looked at money from generation to generation, we're also juxtaposing how our welds existed.
Speaker 2 00:10:16 And back when our parents were children, so the ba boomers generation, um, were children, they spent a lot more time connecting together in real life because there was no other way to connect to people. You, you either saw them in real life, I mean, you, you could talk on the telephone, but as we know, you know, that wasn't the simplest, you had to go through someone else who picked up the phone at home. There was the best way to connect back then. And the simplest way to connect without any intermediary was in person. And the generation X, x and y generations, we've, we connect a lot not in person because we have more avenues to do that. Um, and I think as a result, we actually value given the rarity of it, those in-person connections very highly. So, you know, if we look at our values, system values, systems have changed, um, not the system. So the values have changed. What I think is actually at the core of this article is a misunderstanding across the generations. So the boomers don't need or haven't had to value in real life connection as, as a scarce, as a scarcity, as something that's really high up there because it was just available to them. And so, um, the younger generations, our generation or or younger, I do value that more highly because it isn't as available to them or it isn't as prolific in their life.
Speaker 1 00:11:50 Yeah. I think, um, you know, I think part of the argument really was around, you know, maybe a bit of a, a sledge at the character of the younger generation and how they chose to, uh, allocate their money and allocate their, um, their non-essential spend. And I a hundred percent agree with what you're saying. We know that back in the day, oh my God, I can't believe I'm saying it. Back in the day, there was more com emphasis on community. There were community sports clubs. Mm-hmm. Um, there were community venues. And now we are very much in the Yep. We're, we're very much in the Zoom era. And, um, you know, I think Covid really showed this. And you know, there's, there's an argument, there's that during Covid and post Covid, there's a bit of a loneliness epidemic. And we know that, uh, beyond Blue and Lifeline, which are great resources for people really struggling, they came out, um, and said that the, they'd had massive increases in the number of inbound contacts and in inbound calls directly related to, um, people needing to connect. Uh, so, so there's definitely a gap between, there's definitely a gap out there considering that we always feel we are connected via our mobile phone or by work and zoom versus are we actually getting connection. And so if our generation, we believe maybe even that they value connection just as much as the older generation, we need to find other ways to do it. And one of that is spending 22 bucks, 30 bucks on breakfast out with our friends or with our partner.
Speaker 2 00:13:25 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I definitely think you're right. And some of the research I looked at, um, as well looked at the, the, you know, the, um, mental health impact that social isolation had during Covid. Um, and, and you do need to differentiate between social isolation and loneliness because, um, everybody experienced social isolation, but not everybody would've experienced loneliness being the actual feeling of loneliness versus the physical isolation. Um, and I just, I think in terms of, um, what we've seen in the research to counter the feeling of loneliness, uh, because the social, social, social isolation and has largely been removed, we can get about in society as we won, again, mostly, especially here in Perth, um, the, you know, the research suggests that one of the counters is in in person connection. Um, and the research shows it in, in different ways in volunteering and connecting in social groups and things like that.
Speaker 2 00:14:30 Um, and I think this is probably why it struck a chord for us when you raised this, this commentary that you were seeing in the press again. And then talk to me about that article that you had read that had really stayed with you, um, from, from a few years ago. And it struck a chord because for us, it, it made a lot of sense that you would spend $22 on an avocado toasty or smashed avo toasty. Because we often make the comment when we're at overspending on, um, a, you know, a sandwich, which can be like $14, $15 these days, that it's a great investment in us because we, we enjoy the time and the experience of having that food together.
Speaker 1 00:15:22 Yeah. Well, we, we run a business together. Um, we, uh, have to, uh, plan and manage the life of a, a kid with, um, additional needs. Uh, and we have to try stay connected with each other through all that. And we, as a result, we actually have to create the space and time to do that. It doesn't come naturally and we can easily slip and slide out of business mode because we are always talking about our business. When you run your own business, uh, it's not a nine to five Monday to Friday job. It's, uh, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Um, and you know, we, we find ourselves at six in the morning talking business and we are pretty good. Where at, at nighttime we generally don't talk about it in bed, but maybe right up leading to it. We, we can and we can find ourselves ways. So being able to carve out that right, that, that amount of time, however that may be, whether it is going out for breakfast or grabbing a, a, you know, a $14 roll, which might seem absolutely crazy compared to maybe the $4 KTI rolls the boomers had back in the day. Um, you know, but for us to go for a bush walk or for, uh, a picnic in the park and have a role in a, you know, in a, in a soda water, um, you know, it's priceless.
Speaker 2 00:16:38 Yeah. It's the experience you're describing, isn't it, like the experience of going for the walk and having the role when you're out there. So, you know, how do you put a price on experience? And I say that understanding that at the moment, and we talked about this earlier as well, that at the moment, um, with inflationary pre pressures, this isn't the simplest thing to be talking about because I understand that, you know, $14 for a role is a lot, but I think the other side of that is we are not spending the big bucks. That's a bit of a difference, isn't
Speaker 1 00:17:17 It? Yeah. And, um, look, again, we're not, we're not a financial podcast. Like go, go read a, uh, barefoot Investors Scott Paper. Yeah. So good. Or, um, someone I really like is Remit Sethy, uh, who has a book called, I'll Teach You How to Get Rich in a podcast. I'll Teach You How To Get Rich. And of course you hear that title and you go, oh yeah, that's great. You know, what sort of pyramid scheme is this? But in reality, he, what I like is he has a definition of rich, and he's like, and not only that, he says, you get to choose your definition of rich. And as a result, he's saying, that might be yes, having a Mercedes or a house on the beach, but that might also be, um, having every, every second Friday off and maybe not earning as much in, cuz you get to spend that with your old man who, who's getting on, or you get to spend that with the kids, or you get to work in a job where you aren't working, you know, a 60 hour week.
Speaker 1 00:18:09 So you get to go to your kids', um, recitals or your kids', uh, your kids' footy games or something like that. And that's his definition of a rich life. So for him, a non-negotiable is flying business class, but at the same time, he doesn't really care about fashion. I'm pretty sure that's the example. Um, he gave it, if not, but, so he doesn't go and spend a lot on clothes. Right. But so your, your value, your definition of rich, and, and this comes back to what your values are, they're for you and, and you were alone. And I think we often get caught up in, especially with the, with social media these days, and do you know what they always used to as keeping up with the Jones is right, or the grass is greening next door, it's just literally keeping up with the people of your street or in your, um, uh, parents and teachers group mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, you know, you, you're rocking up in your CX five and someone's got the, the the new, um, the new Volvo, and you are, and you sit there in a little bit. These, you know, can we afford it? Can, can we do
Speaker 2 00:19:11 More? I think what you're touching on is, is super important in that, um, this is why when we talk about living the team life, aligning your values is so critical because I think, um, money not, I think, again, we know from research that money is, if not the top, one of the top causes of disagreement in households. So between couples, um, or between people in a relationship. And, uh, what it really comes down to is being clear on what you value. Because I think you have a lot of, um, arguments that actually are mis misunderstandings because you haven't gotten clear together on what you value. So for example, when we were younger, I would've been annoyed by the $14 role that would've really annoyed me because I hadn't worked out and I hadn't worked out how important experiences were to me. I wasn't clear on that value.
Speaker 2 00:20:10 I wasn't clear on, um, how important quality time between you and I was for me. And once you and I got to a point where we became very articulate in what our team values are, so our agreed relationship values, um, which obviously align with our personal values, otherwise it, it wouldn't work. When we spend that money, we don't even, it's not even up for debate because we both know that we value that spending. And I think in the, from a team perspective, you know, this is a really, um, important thing that w that as a team, you start talking about your values to one another and, and what values you align on so that when you make these decisions or have to make these decisions, you reduce and remove a lot of that friction. And, and we've certainly found it's had a huge impact. I mean, we don't fight about money really ever these
Speaker 1 00:21:07 Days. No, no, not at all. Um, in fact, we're very much aligned in that regard. Uh, and that's a great example, and I'll use more recent example as, uh, um, last year or the year before during Covid we bought a couple of kayaks and they were on mega special. Um, but there's still 200 and something bucks each. And so a fi and we've plus all the equipment, you have them. So that's a $500 investment. Um, and again, we're, we're starting our own business. Um, we're, you know, we're, we're still trying to make ends meet in, in some way. Um, you know, even though we, we do
Speaker 2 00:21:38 Put, we could have put the money elsewhere,
Speaker 1 00:21:40 We could've put the money away. I think that's probably a, a, you know, we're doing pretty well. So I think that's a, you know, much better way to to say it is. Um, so a $500 of discretionary spend mm-hmm. <affirmative> was large, but we didn't actually think too much about it. We had the conversation, one of us just didn't go off and buy them. We, we brought it to the table and we said, well actually how much value will this give us in our lives? One, it will get us outdoors. Two, we're buying two so we can do it together. We might not be able to do it every week. No. But these things should last at least a few years. And, and when we do get out and, and about it, it's something that we always enjoy. Um, and generally it's a sunk, it's a sunk cost.
Speaker 1 00:22:18 Once, once you've bought it, every time you use it, you are using it. And, and the payback on it is, um, considering if you're gonna spend that, you know, a hundred bucks on a pub lunch out mm-hmm. Um, you know, apart from the fact that it's much healthier for you, although we might have a beer afterwards, <laugh> <laugh>, um, during, depend during a depend, depends on where we pull up. Um, but, but the point is, the reason why that $500 decision was, was a simple decision, a non friction decision, was because we were already lined on our values of, uh, health and, and where we were. And of course all at the same time we were around our finances. Um, and I think this makes a great point around, again, the, the $22 smashed avocado and the, and the, the $6 latte. And, and Ramit Sethy, um, makes a great point.
Speaker 1 00:23:06 And he says, too many people are focused on the, the $3 decisions or the $6 decisions around coffee, right? But they're not focused on the larger life decisions like being aligned with your partner around your finances and having a savings plan. Um, but Ro Ruit Seth is saying is like, you know, don't, don't spend all this time stressing about the 22 bucks you're gonna spend on avocado when you're gonna, you know, for your rich life. That means that you are actually connecting with your partner, you're connecting with your friends, and you're getting a, a great benefit out of it, A real lift, some real happiness and contentment versus a decision where it's like going and locking in your mortgage a year ago when it was low versus now when it's super high after the, um, you know, eight or nine months of the Reserve bank. Um,
Speaker 2 00:23:53 It's reactionaries,
Speaker 1 00:23:54 Increas increasing it, right? Yeah. Um, making sure that you combine your superannuation, which the government's actually made super easy these days. Um, it's those decisions that, that move the needle.
Speaker 2 00:24:06 Well, you're also talking about though, from where I sit is, is about, again, coming back to the, the team life and what we, what we teach on and what we believe and have experienced to be successful is, is about getting clear at the front end. So living your life from a proactive stance, which means you get clear on your values, you get clear on what's going to matter and what you don't need to be worrying about. So, you know, as you say, don't worry about the little coffee spends. Do worry about fixing your mortgage. And, and the other big items, even the kayaks, you know, we talked about that cuz that was a bigger spend. We talked about whether we wanted to make that decision, but we wouldn't put that same effort into any of our day-to-day spendings because we've already agreed on what that can look like and, and, and then we trust each other to, to follow what we've agreed.
Speaker 2 00:24:59 Um, but yeah, again, I guess what I'm sort of making the point here on is, um, is, is being in the team life, in the way we live life, it's all about being strategic, planning together, getting clear on what you want together, getting clear on what your agreements are together. And as a result, you don't have to be, you know, like you said, you don't have to be making reactionary decisions. And I think that takes a lot of stress out of the relationship when you're not having to be reactionary because I mean, obviously there's a cascade of fallout with that, you know, there's blame and frustration and shame and all the rest. So when you get proactive, you just remove again and another source of friction.
Speaker 1 00:25:43 Yeah. I'd just like to unpack, uh, what you said there for a second. I think shame and guilt, especially around finances is, is a, is a huge issue individually and for couples. I know. Um, you know, growing up, uh, I I I I wasn't great with money. I didn't know how to budget. Um, you know, I, I've learned all this now from you, from working in a business, from doing my own reading. And in fact now I feel very comfortable with money. And that's something I, I used to have a bit of a story where I was like, oh, I'm no good with money. And I used to keep on telling self, it's a, it is, it's a self-fulfilling pro prophecy. Mm-hmm. Um, it's self-fulfilling prophecy. I I got there, <laugh> and
Speaker 2 00:26:23 Peter Pepper pit it
Speaker 1 00:26:24 <laugh>. Yeah. Yeah. And now I, I actually feel that I, I'm confident, well, at first then I had to stop myself saying, um, you know, I, I'm no good with money. I just had to stop saying, it's like I'm getting better. And now I can say, you know, hand on heart that, that I am good with money and, and, and mostly that it doesn't stress me out. And I know, know, um, previously in our relationship, it would stress me out. And so as a result, I'd, I'd go into my shell and I'd stonewall and I'd, I just wouldn't want to talk about it and admit it. And then of course, pro problems can arise. And so we have that misalignment where if I go out and buy a pair of joggers, you'd go, uh, Roger, we don't have, you know, hundreds of dollars to spend on joggers. Um, you know, did you even look at the budget to see whether we've got that in there? And what, what made you, what made you feel you could go and go and make this decision? Um, and then not tell me about
Speaker 2 00:27:15 It. I think that's the micromanaging though I have to own. So I was raised in this really, um, money conscious family and, and that was all skills that I look back now and I'm so grateful for, hated it at the time, but so, so grateful for. Um, but as a result, I, I couldn't understand the way you approached it. And so instead of having a conversation with you, which I should have, and trying to get on the same page, um, on what our agreements were, I I would try and micromanage reactionary spend, you know, every time you bought something I didn't understand. And we, I'd try and have that conversation then. And it, by then, it was an inflamed conversation. So I know we're digressing away from the smash Davo, but I think, you know, these are important experiences and what we we're talking about in terms of how much friction can be created, um, it's not just, you know, this, this was brought up by a generational difference, but it does bring about the fact that, and, and I think between the generations, there's different values as we talked about, but that, that situation, that that judgment can exist within your own relationship.
Speaker 2 00:28:25 And we are saying there's a really lovely way where you can enjoy the smash davo toast without all that friction. If you and your partner are clear that that's something you value,
Speaker 1 00:28:35 Uh, a hundred percent. And I guess that's circling back to where we started is, you know, the reason this has been talked about so much recently compared to when the article was originally written in, in 2017 is because there is a lot of pressure on households and as a result, couples, um, financially with inflation wages haven't kept up. Um, and, you know, everyone's in the next year or so looking maybe towards a recession. So,
Speaker 2 00:29:05 And we are feeling it, we had to up our household budget by 15% and really that was pretty conservative with the way costs are rising.
Speaker 1 00:29:12 Yeah. That, that's a hundred percent rise. And, um, right. And at the same time it's like, well, you know, a lot of you, if your wage isn't rising, but your budget's going up, that that's causing stress. And you, you have to look at where maybe you do have to cut back and, you know, I think that's where you values come in, where, um, great advice I've heard before is, you know, you spend on what gives you fulfillment and joy mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, and, and, and then cut.
Speaker 2 00:29:34 Scott talks a
Speaker 1 00:29:35 Lot to that. Yeah. And then cut back hard on the things that don't Yeah. You know, and, and that's a, that's a, that can be be a fun exercise as well to do with your partner. Fun might not be the right word, <laugh>, but it's a, it's a, it's an exercise you might be able to do with your partner when you can actually sit down and go, what do we love? What do we, what can we do?
Speaker 2 00:29:52 Let's really
Speaker 1 00:29:53 Outline what do we like doing together? Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:29:55 Your values. It comes all, it all comes back
Speaker 1 00:29:57 To that. We like our breakfast out. We like, um,
Speaker 2 00:30:00 We don't do a
Speaker 1 00:30:01 Forat, we can't putting ourselves in the shoes of, you know, a a another millennial couple or gen, um, gen X couple or anyone is the universal we use. Like, we like going out and spending time together. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we like going on a date night and having a nice bottle of wine. Mm-hmm. We like going to Bali once a year and spending time together with or away from the kids. We like a, we've
Speaker 2 00:30:25 Got a good one coming up.
Speaker 1 00:30:26 What's that?
Speaker 2 00:30:26 The, we've got our <laugh> because we do, we do what we value is, um, celebrating success. Yes. That's something we've always said. You instilled that in me. That was you, you said always celebrate the wins no matter what they are. And I absolutely love that because it's a moment in life where, um, you are valuing your own effort and you're recognizing it rather than just soldiering forward. And, and you know, a lot of us were raised in families where the second you finished one thing, you had to start on the next. Right. Like, achieve achieve. And so stopping to celebrate your successes is such a lovely presence in life. Um, and this Saturday we will actually be doing our staff Christmas party again. We're a staff of two <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:31:14 Yeah. We we're recording this podcast in, um, in, in, in, um, mid-December. And um, it's gonna be a Rous party, but we're going to, we're going to a nice restaurant on the real we're gonna enjoy. We don't, we don't do a lot. No. Um, and what I love about this is one, it it, it fits into our value system because it is celebrating the li the wins and celebrating, you know, success. And for us, we're, we're just about to launch a new business. Um, we, we sold a house that we were flipping earlier on in the year. Um, and for us, you know, just getting through another year of running a small business is a win in is success huge. And it, it gives us a lot of pride and enjoyment and yes, it's just the two of us. <laugh>, we can dial in our virtual assistant maybe, which is in a different time zone, but,
Speaker 2 00:32:01 Um, HR is bound to have complaints.
Speaker 1 00:32:03 Hajas gonna have some complaints, but, and, and what I think is great is that we're gonna go into this and we're not gonna sit there and go, oh, should we order that, um, glass of champagne to start with? We we're gonna order it because we know Absolutely. We know where we are financially, we know where our values lie. Yeah. We we're very much aligned. Yeah. And as a result, we can enjoy that. We can enjoy that. And I know there's been times in the last 2015 years where we've booked a ladi da restaurant and we've actually pulled out, which is a pretty crap thing to do the night before or the day before. Cuz we just said, oh, we can't afford this, this. And oh, it just doesn't feel right. Yeah. It feels a bit icky. And I'm sure our, um, our listeners have been in that situation before, or even you've, you've just gone and you've ordered a bowl of wine and you're sitting there going, I'm not getting the value out of this because I'm feeling that guilt and shame. Yeah. Of can we afford this? Is this the right decision? And I know that when we go to our staff party, um, you know, we don't get to <laugh> our, um, our shink. I'm not gonna have that guilt and shame even though, you know, we do have to sort of count our pennies a bit.
Speaker 2 00:33:09 Yeah, yeah. As everyone does at the moment.
Speaker 1 00:33:14 So babe, what was your big takeout from today?
Speaker 2 00:33:17 Um, my big takeout from today was that our values are individual. Don't try and foist your values onto someone else and don't judge your own values because they don't reflect somebody else's. Our values are individual. Invest in what you value. That's the most important thing.
Speaker 1 00:33:37 Yeah. I that, that's a great takeout. My takeout was the Ramit Sethy thing around. Don't concentrate on the $6 decisions. Concentrate on the $60,000 decisions, you know, um, spend money on the things that mean a lot to you and provide value and cut mercilessly on the things that don't. You are amazing. You've just spent quality time on your relationship.
Speaker 2 00:34:03 Feel like you're on a roll. If you want more living, the team life, relationship, insights and conversations, head over to kim and rod.com where you can find all the show notes as well as tons of other relationship
Speaker 1 00:34:13 Goodies. And if you like today's episode, please hit subscribe or let another couple know where they can find us. It'll make them happy and it'll make us really happy.
Speaker 2 00:34:22 Until next time, keep on living the team life.
