Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:03 But we used to. Have you ever found yourself saying this reminiscing on how things used to be in your relationship with a certain tinge of sadness for lawn, that it's no longer that way and a sense of confusion as to why it's no longer that way? Well, today we are unpacking exactly use, giving you some guidance on what causes relationships to inevitably shift over time and how you can embrace the change and grow with it. Hey, we're Kim and Rod and we're here to show couples how to get the best out of their relationship so they can start living their dream life together.
Speaker 2 00:00:38 We're a west Aussie couple who are living the life of our dreams. We don't entertain the word should we think about the future as a field of possibilities and we'll let joy be our compass.
Speaker 1 00:00:47 We've taken the simple idea of working as a team and applied it to our marriage and it's been a game changer, allowing us to work out what truly lights us up in life and to go after it together.
Speaker 2 00:00:56 From living in snowy Japan to starting our own house ripping business, we've achieved some big dreams and most importantly, we feel fulfilled and are having the most fun we've ever had.
Speaker 1 00:01:04 Pick conversations from inspiring couples, thoughts from relationship experts and tales from our own lives as we help you to gain the wisdom and skills you'll need to turn your relationship into a real team. These
Speaker 2 00:01:14 Are relationship conversations for real people buy real people. So sit back, get comfort from whatever tickles you pickle, and enjoy living the team life.
Speaker 1 00:01:30 So today's podcast is about this idea that we say sometimes, which is, but we used to, and it's a spot in a relationship when we find ourselves thinking a lot about how things used to be and feeling very disconnected from that state, feeling like we no longer necessarily recognize the day-to-day of our relationship anymore. You might say things to a friend like, but we used to talk all the time, but we used to laugh all the time, but we used to have sex all the time. And when those states have changed, there's this sense that you no longer feel connected sometimes in the same way because you don't recognize the relationship the way that you thought you did. It doesn't look the same as it used to. And what we're really talking about here is that the identity of the relationship has shifted and maybe this new identity that is emerging feels really alien to you.
Speaker 2 00:02:44 Yeah, I identity is, uh, a growing, moving liquid thing, right? And I think a lot of the time we can get caught up with how things used to be or how things, or how we wish things were, how we wish we were, our expectations of how we thought life with our partner would turn out. So often I think also is that when it comes to identity is we often don't take have the time or take the time to take stock of who we are, let alone take stock of who our partner is and who you are in terms of the relationship identity. And so when you haven't actually sat down and taken stock of it individually, let alone together, you might be grasping onto things from the past when things are always moving forward.
Speaker 1 00:03:41 I think, I think you're a hundred percent right and I think the thing that shows up is this, this constant knowing at you of why, why is it different? Why don't I recognize it anymore? Why have things changed? Why can't I go back? Because you can feel very alone and very detached from your partner as the relationship identity shifts from a place where you felt comfortable and were knowing to a new place. And you can end up asking bigger questions in that state of detachment and that sense of aloneness things like, do I still love this person? Is this the person that I want to be with? Are they still the person for me? Because I no longer necessarily am familiar with the relationship that we have together. And I think you and I can talk to this from our twenties, you know, obviously we've been together 21 years and man, oh man, have we seen some change and shifting relationship identity within that 21 years?
Speaker 1 00:04:50 In our twenties was we, we started dating when we were 18. And so in our twenties we started working professional jobs at different times and the shift was monumental. We all of a sudden had, uh, changing social groups because you do socialize more with work people. We had, uh, changing aspirations, we had changing experiences in the workplace, in life. All of our worlds were expanding and growing in different directions. And there was a sense between us of the relationship as we knew it, which was as uni students together for four years no longer existed anymore.
Speaker 2 00:05:33 Those first four years of when we were going out was very intense. We've talked about this before. There was a lot of love. Uh, there was a lot of intimacy and we really, we, we shut the rest of the world out. We had our own little couple bubble. Um, and it's funny that it took us maybe another 10 years to get back to back to that. And we were living lives together, but going after two, going after very different things in both of our lives. And you can't make the assumption whether it is in your twenties, thirties, forties, that if the two of you, you might be co cohabiting, you might be living together, you might be in love, but if you are working on your own set of goals, on your own career, on your own life, you cannot assume that you are gonna end up in the same place. And so what we found is, is that because we weren't making a concerted effort to grow together, we were actually slowly growing apart. And that's where we saw big chasms in our identities. And we sometimes would look at each other and you would say to me, it's like, I just don't, I I feel I don't know you anymore.
Speaker 1 00:06:48 Yeah, I I'm having a lot of these flashbacks. Those were hard times. I felt really confused. And I think that's the truth of these states. They can be really, really confusing when you don't know what's happening. So which
Speaker 2 00:07:05 Ro which Roger am I in love with?
Speaker 1 00:07:08 I just didn't even know. I didn't know who we were anymore. And whether we, the relationship we had was the relationship I had fallen in love with. And that was a big question mark for me. So that's, that's what it was like for us. But let's, let's take a step back and, and help people to understand with a little bit more information why, why relationships change and, and what that sort of looks like so that you can start to, you might recognize this, you know, if someone had given me this information back when I was in that moment, I would've found it extremely helpful to be able to understand that relationships, that that's normal, that that is completely normal. But let's dive on in to what that looks like.
Speaker 2 00:08:02 We just discussed how our identities in our twenties were through that we were rapidly changing. And a lot of people who have their first real relationship in their twenties will, will know this because they also had their first long-term breakup every year. You were developing and changing. You know, the person I was 20 years ago, 15 years ago, 10 years ago, five years ago, is so very different to the person I am today. But not only that, the person I want to be in five to 10 years is very different to who I am now cuz I wanna see growth. I wanna see growth in who I am. And the problem is, unless we're constantly touching base for each other in a good way to get that rift and repair and that challenge. So we are growing together, so we are testing each other's boundaries. Unless we're doing that, we're growing apart, our identities are shifting.
Speaker 1 00:08:53 So what we're saying is the relationship identity shifts, but also this first point I think you are making about why the relationship feels like it changes is the individuals in the relationship change their identity shift. Like we evolved so much in our twenties and as we were, how we saw the world was constantly moving because we were so inexperienced with life. We had lived a cocooned childhood, a cocooned uni life. And all of a sudden you come out into the working world and it is just, you are, you are evolving all the time. What you're being exposed to is growing and growing and growing and you change as a human as a result because you've received so much more information about how life can be and what life could look like. And I remember this happened, you know, the changing of identity was really prominent when I did my masters of counseling because when you go through that degree, you actually do an enormous amount of introspection and internal work.
Speaker 1 00:09:55 And that's part of the degree is unpacking your own stuff. And as a result, people's people's identities do shift, their values shift, they get to know themselves better. And so they start thinking about things differently. And some relationships, this was a known thing in the degree, some relationships did not make it because that partner had fundamentally shifted in their identity and the relationship couldn't cope with that. So it's, I mean, it's a pretty drastic thing, but when we feel like we've had that big shift and we aren't able to articulate that or come back together, learn anew, grow together in new, it can be, it can be a really, it can be a really profound time in life that can, that can have huge ramifications.
Speaker 2 00:10:47 So when you were doing your masters' of counseling, you would come home, I was working full-time and you would want to have some pretty deep conversations because it was, you wanted to, you did actually want to try, uh, bring me along on the journey. But for me it was like going from zero to 100. Now for other people out there we're not, you might not find that your partner's gone off to do a masters of counseling, but if you are listening to this podcast, you are already on a personal development, relationship development journey and you can't assume that your partner is at the same stage as you are on that self-realization and self-development journey. And we can see this when people have their midlife crisises arou or in their, around their forties because they all of a sudden get to a spot and they go, geez, I'm halfway through my life.
Speaker 2 00:11:45 Who am I? And what we are saying is that you can see the friction that would occur when someone, for example, Kim, you were turbocharging your self-development, personal development, your growth, your self realization journey. And I was right at the beginning. I might have actually been two steps back. And what it took funnily enough was me making a few mistakes that, you know, could have ended our relationship. Um, because I wasn't prioritizing it because I was putting myself first and because I wasn't taking accountability of my life to actually realize that I, I I want to start growing. And not only that is I wanna start growing with you because I'm seeing all these amazing changes with you. But to do that I had to let go of a lot of the stuff in the past and I also had to let it let go of a lot of stuff of how I saw you in the past.
Speaker 1 00:12:40 That's so interesting. Yeah. The identity thing I get, it was, I mean it definitely hit me as well when, when I did my degree, I definitely felt a lot of shifts in myself and probably didn't adequately give you the compassion around us being at different PD stages, your personal development stages. I think you're right. That is something you have to hold in mind and you know, where I'm unpacking here why some, why some relationships change and or why relationships change. And we've said, you know, changing identities, the other thing you touched on in that was changing communication styles, you know, and I think jumping into that, I would come home and, you know, like I'm saying, I didn't show you enough compassion on where you were at. I would want to dig into things in a different way, in a deeper way. And you, you didn't have the tools for that.
Speaker 1 00:13:36 You weren't at that point and it actually really frustrated you. I can vividly remember you saying to me, I don't see things like that. I'm not doing your degree. I don't, I don't understand what you are saying. And I, I <laugh>, despite my evolving personal state, obviously hadn't evolved that far because I was, I was on my own journey and I I didn't come back to the table and and acknowledge that what was happening was that I was shifting and I I was the one actually coming at things differently. So that's, that's part of it is definitely that communication styles can shift as your identity starts to shift. Right?
Speaker 2 00:14:18 Well cuz you're seeing the world differently as your identity shifts and you're making assumptions about, well that person or that person has always done that. They're, you know, it's like these, these invisible scripts or the stories we tell ourselves is, you know, we might tell ourselves. Um, so I was like, oh, I'm not great with money. You know, I told myself that for so long and became a self-perpetuating situation and then all of a sudden I, I actually, I stopped myself at one point and said, no, no, no, no, you weren't good with money, but now you've actually started taking action and you are becoming good with money. And now I say I am good with money. And that can be labels that we put onto each other. And it's important when we talk to our partners to make sure we don't say stuff like, you always used to do that or you always did that. Because while we might feel like, well, I'm growing, we can't assume that the other person hasn't grown. And I think a lot of the time it's just that we're growing in different directions. And if you are misaligned on your core values on who, where you want to go in life, how you see the world, it doesn't matter how good you are at communicating, there's still gonna be that misalignment and friction in there.
Speaker 1 00:15:29 I think we just need to be really clear when we say you wanna get aligned with your partner, and at the same time we are saying you grow in different directions at different times. Alignment doesn't look like both having the same identity growth or both having the same communication skills or being at the exact same point in life alignment looks like being open and honest about where you both are and finding a path forward from there, considering the context of both of you and your lives and your identities at that point in time.
Speaker 2 00:16:00 That that's a hundred percent right. And you can see how we get there, you know, our episodes 15 and 16 on, uh, how kids change your relationship mm-hmm. <affirmative>, that was a big part of these, these huge moments in your life where all of a sudden you are stressed for time and you are also as a parent, your identity shifting and you have less times to have deep conversations to check in where each other is at. So you can see that it's not always just about miscommunication. It might be that different, different factors and events in your life have caused time to go by where you haven't had those important check-ins.
Speaker 1 00:16:40 Yeah. And I think what happens, you're talking about those different seasons of life and when, you know, external stressors might pick up and, and feel different in that space of life. And I think what you're actually saying is the, uh, operating mode of the relationship shifts, right? All of a sudden you don't talk the same way you used to and you don't touch as much as you used to because of the season you're in. And so all of a sudden, because we're talking today about what you know, that that question that people have of my relationship isn't what it used to be. Yeah. That why, well, that question comes up in those seasons as well. You know, why, why aren't we touching anymore? Why doesn't it look like it used to? Well you're in the thick of a, of a very stressful time of life potentially. And when we are under stress, we don't have capacity necessarily for standard operating modes. We, we go into survival mode. And survival mode doesn't have much fluff around it. So all of a sudden you feel like your relationship's shifted. Well it has for that period of time. You're not wrong, but it's not necessarily gonna be like that forever. And it is a necessary part of life because we can't do everything all at once.
Speaker 2 00:17:48 Yeah. So you're not having the deep conversations, you are not having as much intimacy and as you said at the start, you are finding less moments of connection so you're not bonding over, I guess the good times as much. You are, you are, you are becoming more rotary, more operational. Yes. You're in the, you're in the minutiae. Yes. And as we always say, all of a sudden, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years could go by and your identity's changed, your relationship identity's changed and you've never actually taken stock of where you are because you are both working really hard. But things have changed and things have shifted.
Speaker 1 00:18:30 So one of the other things that, or one of the other ways we can see relationships shift, uh, and, and one of the, one of the areas where we can feel like we've sort of become detached from our partner or or we don't recognize the relationship anymore is when we see shifting goals and priorities. And we have this sense of, but we always wanted a or we always said we wanted B but like we've said throughout this podcast, when people grow and evolve with their identity and their skill and experience and their exposure to the world, so too will their thoughts about the future and what they want out of the future. And that can be a little bit scary when all of a sudden someone starts thinking about a future different to what you had agreed on. But that is part of this, that is part of the change we're talking about. So sometimes people will see that their partner starts to change what they want out of life starts labeling things differently, starts looking forward in different directions. And that is definitely one of the ways we can see change in relationship show up,
Speaker 2 00:19:36 Well really the, the goals of focal points in the future. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And we can get to stages where we go, oh, I always thought we wanted to do A, B, and C. We didn't actually achieve them cuz Tom got away from us. Do we still want to achieve those things? Well you've always said you wanted to do one, two, and three. Well, I don't feel that way anymore. So again, you can see how that friction, how that misalignment can come, then you, we always bring it back to like, if we don't feel our partner understands us, if we don't, we we can really internalize is they don't see me anymore, they don't know me anymore, do I still love them? But
Speaker 1 00:20:17 Honestly think if someone had given me this information in my twenties, I would've felt far more empowered to take action in our relationship, to rebuild our connection and our bond. And I guess that's what we wanna talk about next, right? Is, is if you do recognize that you are feeling detached or you are asking those questions, but you know, or making those statements. But we used to, we used to do this and you, and you hear yourself picking it up often, but we used to, you're caught in what the relationship identity was. How do you rebuild the trust and the connection and create that bond again so that you've got your new relationship identity. And the first thing I would suggest would be to embrace the concept of change, evolution, growth. These things are beautiful and I know change can be really scary, especially when your partner is often your safe hoven. But it is inevitable. There is no part of life, there is no person in life that does not evolve. It is just simply the way the world is. And if you think about it, why would you ever want the same thing forever? That sounds incredibly boring. Maybe that's just my brain, but that sounds very, very boring to me. I
Speaker 2 00:21:35 Don't, I don't know if it sounds boring. What I think it does is
Speaker 1 00:21:38 The same thing forever.
Speaker 2 00:21:40 Oh sorry. Yeah. No, that's boring. <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:21:42 Depends
Speaker 2 00:21:43 What it is.
Speaker 1 00:21:44 No, it's like if what? It's not just about. So I think the reason people like the idea of the same thing forever is as a sense of safety. But what you give up by being in that safe zone is all of the opportunity. And that to me is a far scary thought than the risk you take by embarking on a new adventure or embracing change.
Speaker 2 00:22:06 So change is gonna happen no matter what.
Speaker 1 00:22:07 Exactly.
Speaker 2 00:22:08 So you actually have three options. You can fight against the change, you can go with the flow or you can take charge, you can accept that change is going to happen. That's the acceptance piece. And you can actually go, I'm gonna own the change. I'm gonna take charge, I'm gonna set the direction. Which for me, when I realized that I could do this was really, really empowering.
Speaker 1 00:22:30 Yeah, absolutely. It, I think that's said so beautifully. Accepting that change is always there and that change can be beneficial to you. That that means opportunity and growth for both of you, for your relationship, for new experiences, for new ways of experiencing the world. I mean, how exciting is that?
Speaker 2 00:22:49 I hope I change from five to 10 years from now. Yeah. If I'm the same person in five to 10 years, cuz I've seen no growth. I'm, I'm going backwards. You know, if you do not change, you're actually going backwards. And, and that's a really scary prospect cuz I think that's what happened to me. I in my twenties where even though I, I might have changed a bit, but I didn't grow. And really I feel like I went backwards in a, in in terms of knowing myself, understanding myself because I bought into a lot, a lot of societal norms. So what I have done in my thirties is really taken charge of who I am, embraced the change, accepted the change, and, and in fact taken control. So I've got agency of the change.
Speaker 1 00:23:34 And don't you think you want the same thing for the relationship? You just said, I don't wanna be the same person in five to 10 years, but I don't want our relationship to look the same.
Speaker 2 00:23:43 Yeah. And to of course not. And to do that you have to start making, making changes and having those conversations with your partner today. Yeah. The best time to do it was probably yesterday. The next best time to have these conversations is today and on, um, on our episode five needle movers. Uh, you can start in your relationship today. We actually had two needle movers, which were about how you can start having small conversations mm-hmm. <affirmative> with your partner that weren't just about dreams and on some of the bigger stuff, but about some of the smaller stuff, like how can I support you? Or what was the peak or trough of your week? These were just small starters in how you can get into those larger conversations around, Hey, what are your goals? What are your dreams? What are your aspirations? And are we on the same page? And if not, how can we get on the same page?
Speaker 1 00:24:35 I think that's beautiful. You can start talking more with really small open conversations and just get curious. Just ask, ask your partner some questions. You know, what you need to remember is they are constantly evolving, as are you. And so you constantly have to get to know them. And I know that might sound like a woowoo concept, but it's absolutely true. They are always, I mean, there is there a day that goes by that I don't come to you where I've had my mind blowing by some thought that's made me look at the world slightly different?
Speaker 2 00:25:07 No, no. Every day, every every day. And look, I I'm not always at the same level you are, but you know, and we, so we do put in every morning we do our morning mindset and we do have questions like structured questions. There's four of them that we ask each other or that we address to create a space so we make sure we're constantly on the same page. And you don't have to do this every day and you don't have to do in the morning. It can be at night, but you do have to do it weekly. And, but by just starting today, by having some of those small conversations,
Speaker 1 00:25:43 I think that's a great, uh, example. And I think using prompter questions is a really great little, um, tip for people. If you wanna start talking more, find some prompter questions, you can Google them or look on relationship sites or whatever it is. Uh, we can throw some prompter questions maybe up on our socials actually would be nice. Yep.
Speaker 2 00:26:03 I'll, I'll do that for, uh,
Speaker 1 00:26:04 Yeah, let's do that. Yep.
Speaker 2 00:26:06 Um, and I think, you know, some prompter questions are good, but some other ways you can connect is actually, uh, having a look at what you guys do connect on today. What, what do you know that you are aligned on today? You're starting the ground. No, you're not starting from, and I, yeah, I very much doubt you are, even if it's says like, you know, it could be something about your kids, it could be something about yourselves. It could just be something that you are really appreciate about the other person because you can connect on something that someone does for you. One, it shows appreciation and two, it shows that you are noticing it. And three, it's like, well, we can connect on that. That is something that we agree on because they're good behaviors.
Speaker 1 00:26:46 I think that's such a beautiful one. I think when we start from a place of strength rather than a place of weakness or a sense or idea of weakness, it's far more motivating to ge to begin. Right? And if we start at the, you know, in the early phases just finding what our, where we are still connected, yes, we acknowledge we're changing, yes, we acknowledge the relationships changed. Maybe it's changed drastically like ours did in our twenties, but there were definitely still things that we recognized in the relationship that, that we connected on in the relationship. And that's a really lovely place. Start from that place of connection and then, and then start to embrace the idea of the change and, and asking about, well, what does, what are some of the not connected areas? What are the some of the things we view differently now or dream differently about, you know, move from that place of strength though. Um, and I would say the next thing you know, when we, when you're doing that, I mean all of these things we're sort of talking about, you know, talking more, looking at a place of connection, uh, embracing change. They come about by spending more intentional time together, right? It is
Speaker 2 00:27:53 Really hard to carve out specific time, um, when, when you live busy lives. And Kim and I have just just discussed how we do that. So ki we sit out the front on our veranda, we drink coffee and have breakfast while our little one does her little routine in the morning. Uh, that doesn't work for everyone. You know, some people might find that nighttime's better. We're saying, you, you need to do, you do need to find certain times during the week. And I actually think for, you know, hot tip for the girls out there, for guys, guys aren't always super verbal. A sneaky way you can start to have open conversations with them is going for a walk or going out and doing some sort of physical activity together. Because I know that sometimes if Kim, if Kim tries and comes to talk to me in the house, I'm, I'm not always up for the conversation, it's quite, it might be actually more environmental, but if she's like, let's go for a walk, let's go down the beach and do a beach run, or let's go have a pub lunch or something like that, I'm actually more likely to open up and be present and available for her and her big dreams and her questions <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:29:05 I think that's actually a great point. And something else I'm thinking about as you're saying that is, uh, one, it's change of environment and the, and your partner might become more comfortable and open outside of your day-to-day environment. But the other part is you said not everyone's verbal. And we can actually learn a lot about where our partners are at, where their heads are at, how their identity might be shifting, or their worldview might be shifting by engaging in activities and seeing how they engage the activity.
Speaker 2 00:29:32 I know that it's, it's actually helped me a lot. Um, and I know it is your sneaky little way to get me talking sometimes
Speaker 1 00:29:39 <laugh>. Uh, well as long as you're okay with it. Uh, and the last, the last, uh, tip we have for starting to feel more connected and rebuild that, that sense of bond and, and, and trust in the relationship, if you have got to a point where you don't necessarily recognize it anymore or feel like it's less recognizable than it used to be, is to foster physical connection. Now I think people think when we say this straight away, that we are talking about sex, physical intimacy can be a touch, it can be a supportive hand on the shoulder. Even maybe you work walk past and your partner's doing some late night admin for the household. You know, just a hand on the shoulder. Can
Speaker 2 00:30:21 A kiss on the
Speaker 1 00:30:21 Cheek, a kiss on the cheek before you go to bed, maybe a kiss on the cheek before you leave the house, A hug. I mean, hugs are so, so powerful. The research tells us hugs not only help you to feel more bonded with your partner, they actually reduce your stress. So if you wanna have more open conversations with your partner, if you wanna start to build that, like I said, come from a place of strength as we are learning and growing together. Start building your physical intimacy. Give them a hug, lower their stress levels, build the sense of connection and physical intimacy.
Speaker 2 00:30:54 Every time you hug your partner or give him a peck on the cheek, your body releases oxytocin and it tells your body, oh, relax, this is love. And the more you do it, the more that chemical's released. And yes, while sex is important to relationship, what's more important is those everyday interactions, those kisses, those hugs, even even holding, uh, holding a glance in the eye with each other is really important. Uh, Kim's doing it to me now. <laugh>, <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:31:25 Just testing the theory.
Speaker 2 00:31:26 Just testing the theory. Yeah. Oh, I just got my good oxytocin shot. Uh, so, you know, I, I think, you know, just, we'll just replay to you, you know, these five key things you can do to get back on the same page in terms of your relationship identity and finding that connectness so you're not going backwards. So one, embrace change, you know, embrace evolution, embrace growth. E except that you're going to change. And then take, take control of it.
Speaker 1 00:31:55 Two would be start talking more. Get curious with your partner if you need. Use some prompter questions. We use prompter questions every single day when we are talking together. It, it unveils a lot about the other person. When you just start providing those regular opportunities for them to give you more information about where their head's at, what they're thinking, how they're seeing the world, how they're engaging with the world.
Speaker 2 00:32:16 Three, discover what you already connect on today, what you have in common, because I think you'll find you have more in common than you thought. And that can help belay those, um, belay those feelings of, oh, we don't do this anymore. We used to do this. When you start to work from common ground, you are starting to work from a positive mindset and you feel that you've actually already made some progress
Speaker 1 00:32:43 For spend more intentional time together. Remember that not everybody is as verbal as one another. And you might actually find some really great clues when you get physical and get outside of the house and have an intentional activity together.
Speaker 2 00:32:56 And five is have more sex. Oh no, sorry, five is foster. <laugh> got, I'm getting D das there. And five is physical connection. So hugs, kisses, uh, holding hands, looking at each other every single day. Get let your body do the work. So Kim, what was your golden nugget for today?
Speaker 1 00:33:19 I think the golden nugget for me out of this podcast, and I really love this podcast, I really, it's one of my favorites, is to embrace change. It is once. And I, again, like I say, if I went back to my twenties and someone had given me that idea that, that the relationship was going to evolve, we were evolving as humans, that was always going to happen. And that if you embrace it and, and spend the time getting to know the evolving people that you are, the evolving relationship that you have, it's so empowering because with change comes opportunity, with change comes newness. And that's a really exciting part of life. So that for me was the gold nugget today. What about you, Roger?
Speaker 2 00:33:59 My gold nugget might, I might, I'm gonna give my gold nugget to the audience, uh, because it, you, you are listening to two people who were very, very connected and as their identity shifted in their twenties, became very disconnected and distant. And this happened probably more than once. It might have happened a couple of times. And who are now 20 years on, 21, 22 years on are more connected and happier than they've ever been. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Take on board what you need from this podcast. The those five ways are things that we did in the past to get us back on track and start growing together. You are amazing. You've just spent quality time on your relationship,
Speaker 1 00:34:45 Feel like you're on a role. If you want more living, the team life, relationship, insights and conversations, head over to kim and rod.com where you can find all the show notes as well as tons of other relationship
Speaker 2 00:34:55 Goodies. And if you like today's episode, please hit subscribe or let another couple know where they can find us. It'll make them happy and it'll make us really happy.
Speaker 1 00:35:04 Until next time, keep on living the team life.
